Whose Line is It AnywayBleach Style!
by PiFace314
Summary: We bring the human world's most entertaining game show to the Seritei! The game where the points don't matter, and everybody wins! Rated T for swearing and some adult content.
1. Chapter 1

Konichiwa, ladies and gents! I was watching Whose Line is it Anyway when I started thinking that it would be funny if the Bleach characters could play. So, with a little help from a friend, I started making this story!

Ichigo: But a lot of the game has to do with acting. How are you gonna do it?

Me: Shut up! You're paid to host, not complain!

Ichigo: But you're not paying me…

Me: Do you want me to set Zaraki-taicho on you?

Ichigo: 0_0 I'll be good.

So please, read and review. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

GAME #1:

Host: Ichigo Kurasaki

Contestants: Renji Abarai, Rukia Kuchiki, Gin Ichimaru, and Yumichika Ayasegawa

**Ichigo:** Hey everybody! I'm your host Ichigo Kurasaki, come on down, let's have some fun! Hello! Welcome to Whose Line is It Anyway Bleach Edition, where everything's made up and the points don't matter! Yes, the points don't matter, just like Unohana=taicho's age! So, ummm… the person at the end of the show with the most points, the person I like the most, gets to, ummm… do a little something special with me… [Sigh] [CROWD GOES WILD]

Here are your contestants. The prettiest guy in town, Yumichika Ayasegawa! [Crowd goes wild] The not as pretty Renji Abarai! (Crowd laughs) The bunny loving Rukia Kuchiki. And of couse, the guy who can't see a thing, Gin Ichimaru! [Crowd goes YAY] Okay, so were gonna start of with a game called… Number of Words; this for all four of you.

The game goes like this… Yumichika can say 1 word, Gin can say 2, Renji says 3 and Rukia can say anything. The scene is: two sisters, Yumichika and Rukia,are coming back home when Gin, a robber, jumps out at them. Renji, the cop, comes in and beats Gin up. GO!

[Gin pops out of nowhere]

**Yumichika:** GASP!

**Gin:** I'm gonna…

**Rukia:** Gonna what?

**Gin:** Steal your…

**Rukia:** Steal what you creep!?

**Gin:** Purse,WOMAN!

[Rukia and Yumichika scream]

**Renji:** Stop it you…

**Gin:** You what?

**Renji:** Hooligan! Take That!

[Renji starts to beat up Gin]

**Rukia:** You're not supposed to do that for real!

**Renji:** Oh… Oops… Sorry…

**Yumichika:** BAD!

{BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ}

**Ichigo:** Plus 100 for beating up Gin, but minus 100 points because the producer would tell me too! Okay, when we come back, more Whose Line is It Anyway, so don't go anywhere!

* * *

**Ichigo: ** Okay, welcome back to Whose Line is It Anyway. Our next game is Questions Only. This is for all four of you. You can only speak in questions. Okay? The scene is… Renji is out in a bar trying to get girls. Rukia comes in. when one gets out, Yumichika comes in, then when another person doesn't say a question, Gin comes in. Okay? Lets go!

[Rukia comes in the bar]

**Renji: **Hey girl, wanna drink?

**Rukia: **Does it look like I wanna drink?!

**Renji: **Why are you in a bar if you don't wanna drink?

**Rukia: **Is it okay if I want a drink but don't want one from you?!

**Renji: **Dude, why don't you just take a chill pill?

**Rukia: **Well, is it bad f I don't want to take a chill pill from you?!

**Renji: **You know a chill pill isn't an actual object, right?

**Rukia: **Whatever!

{BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ} **Ichigo: **Not a question. Rukia is out!

[Yumichika comes in]

**Renji: **Hey beautiful, you wanna drink?

**Yumichika: **Oh, you think I am beautiful?

**Renji: **You're the prettiest girl in sight, right?

[Yumichika, looks around and he does not see anyone else in the bar]

**Yumichika: **You're so funny; what gender do you think I am?

**Renji: **You're a chick, right?

**Yumichika: **Hahaha, are you always that funny?

**Renji: **SHIT! Is that a d…. I'm out of here!

[Renji walks out, Gin comes in]

**Gin: **Can you spare a second for a blind man?

**Yumichika: **Aren't you just Chinese?

**Gin: **No, I am blind. Can you please help me?

**Yumichika: **Will I be able to help a Chinese guy such as yourself?

**Gin: **I am blind, not Chinese, okay?

**Yumichika: **Not Chinese…hmm… Japanese or Korean?

**Gin: **STOP IT WITH THE RACIST JOKES!

[BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ} **Ichigo: **Not a question, Gin is out!

**Ichigo: **Okay, 1000 points for Yumichika for being the last one standing, 100 points for Renji for thinking Yumichika was a girl and hitting on her. Okay, when we come back, our winner will do a little something special with me. (I am not being paid enough for this… I'm not being paid at all!)

* * *

**Ichigo**: Okay, everybody, this game is called What Are You Trying To Say? A piece of trivia: this game was only ever used on the real show once. Basically, we'll try to talk to each other, but we'll read the comments of the other person the wrong way. I'll be starting off. Hey, Yumichika, how are you and Ikkaku?

**Yumichika:** What do you mean, how are you and Ikkaku? You think that we're in some sort of relationship? Huh? Is that what you think? Because we're just friends.

**Ichigo**: Wait a minute. You think I'm a homophobe, don't you? Because I'm not. I accept people of all cultures and backgrounds.

**Yumichika**: And you think I don't? That is so shallow!

**Ichigo**: Oh, so now I'm shallow now, huh? Well, excuse me, but aren't I the one with the Mexican friend?

**Yumichika**: He's not Mexican, you idiot, he's Latin-American!

**Ichigo**: So, do you think I'm an idiot? Well, at least I haven't been hanging around with 11th Division all day long.

**Yumichika**: You're comparing me with those thugs, huh? Well, I am more beautiful than them. Don't classify me like that!

**Ichigo**: I am not judgemental! You ask everyone! I'm as fair as fair can be!

**Yumichika**: So you're saying that I'm unfair! How ugly!

**Ichigo**: You calling me ugly, featherhead?

**Yumichika**: How dare you! Birdbrain, indeed!

(BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

**Ichigo**: And that's all the time we have, folks! Tune in for the next episode of Whose Line is It Anyway!

* * *

Thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoyed! I will be accepting suggestions for who you want to be contestants next time, as well as Scenes for the Scenes from a Hat segment I couldn't do this time. So yeah, please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Konichiwa! I was so excited about the positive reviews I got for the last Whose Line is it Anyway I got started immediately on this one! We got a new list of contestants here, two recommended by reviewers and two my friend and I chose. Anyways, please keep reading and reviewing!

Ichigo: …Mayuri Kurotsuchi.

Me: Yeah, what?

Ichigo: You chose Mayuri Kurotsuchi as a contestant.

Me: So?

Ichigo: He is probably the least funny person on Earth.

Me: But he makes other people funny…

Ichigo: He creeps me out.

Me: I can call Zaraki-taicho in here as a contestant instead…

Ichigo: No, no, Kurotsuchi is fine…

* * *

Ichigo: Hello and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, where everybody wins 'cause the points don't matter! Yes, the points don't matter, just like Hanataro's opinion on just about anything! ( Crowd laughs) Just kidding. Anyways, here are your contestants. The second prettiest man in town, Byakuya Kuchiki! He's pretty fly (for a white guy) Kisuke Urahara! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound after twenty bottles of sake, Shunsui Kyoraku! And… oh man, I have to introduce him… the original Freakshow, Mayuri Kurotsuchi!

Okay, we're gonna start off with a game for three people, because I don't like you, Kurotsuchi. It's called two lines. Okay, Byakuya can say two lines, which are holy shit and I'm leaving. Kyoraku can say two lines, which are gimme a break and… total waffle. Apparently, our author has had an overdose of the Dorkness is Rising. Oh, and Urahara can say whatever he wants. The scene is this: Urahara and Byakuya are trying to get their lazy friend Kyoraku to get a job. Wow, seems pretty accurate. Anyways, we start… now!

Urahara: Shunsui, you need to get a job.

Kyoraku: Gimme a break.

Urahara: No I am not going to give you a break!

Byakuya: Ho-lee shit.

Urahara: Exactly! Shunsui, your attitude is shitty.

Kyoraku: Total waffle.

Urahara: Shunsui, it is not waffle. Dr. Phil says-

Byakuya: I'm leaving.

Urahara: Wait a minute, no one is leaving!

Kyoraku: Gimme a break!

Urahara: Not until you move out of my apartment! You keep on eating all my pancakes!

Kyoraku: Total waffle.

Urahara: And yep, you ate all my waffles, too. If I let this go on any longer, you're gonna eat us out of house and home.

Byakuya: Holy shit.

Urahara: Yep. So, Shunsui, you need to get a job, or-

Byakuya: I'm leaving.

Urahara: Stop it with the leaving, already! You always keep whining and being annoying! Can't you say anything other than that? Ah, that's it! I'm leaving!

***Urahara leaves***

Byakuya: …

Kyoraku: Gimme a break.

(BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Okay, that's it for that game. 500 points to Kyoraku for actually finding a way to fit total waffle into the game. I think the author really needs to get a better sense of-*looks up* Oh crap… I'll be good! Just please, don't send me into that evil manga!

Everyone:… Naruto?

Me: Ayup! So, if anybody complains about my writing again, you can go there. Understand?

Everyone: Uhuh…

Ichigo:*clears throat* Okay, now that that's been settled, let's go on with the show. Our next game is Drew Carey's favorite, and it's called, so as not to infringe on copyright… Scenes from Urahara's hat.

Urahara: Oh, so that's where my hat went.

Ichigo: Basically, I'll pick a couple of scenes from this hat and our contestants will act them out, savvy?... Wait, savvy? I am not a pirate!

Me: Ahem.

Ichigo: Oh, right. Sorry. Anyways, the first category is… things you can say about your dog but not your girlfriend.

Kyoraku: Man, she is such a bitch!

***crowd roars***

Ichigo: Moving on… we now have bad neighbors!

Kyoraku: Say cheese! Thanks for that. Not as good as that picture of you in the shower, but thanks anyways.

Kurotsuchi: You don't mind if I borrow your shovel, right? Oh, and if you hear any noises, do not come over.

Urahara:… Hey, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki.

(BUUZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Oh, I'm sorry, it's time for the next category! This one is… not exactly motivational speakers. Oh, joy.

Byakuya:… And on a final note, yes, you can look noble while wearing hair curlers.

Kyoraku: See? It's not so hard to remain so-*sniffs* Is that Jack Daniels? I love Jack Daniels. Gimmme, gimme, gimme!

Kurotsuchi: I am here to introduce my daughter Nemu, here to talk about self-confidence.

Ichigo: Yep, I think that we're done with this one. Kurotsuchi gets 300 points for not even having to think very hard to find something funny. But, Kyoraku still wins, so he gets to sit out the last game.

* * *

Kyoraku: Alright, now it's time for one last game, everyone. This is called World's Worst, and so, everyone's gonna act out the world's worst…*reads card* Aw man! I wish that I could act this out. It's the World's Worst place to bring your first date. Aaaannnddd…. Go!

Kurotsuchi: And this is my laboratory. Oh, watch the puddle… I think it's acid.

Urahara: Here we are, Chernobyl! Best part is, it's absolutely safe!

Ichigo: And this is my-*falls backward* DAD!!!!!!

Byakuya: This is the shrine I've dedicated to my former wife. Everyday I place a fresh basket of flower petals in front of her picture, and… oh, that's not dust. Those are her ashes.

Kurotsuchi: Thanks for accepting my offer to go hiking! Where are we hiking? Mount Everest!

Ichigo: Such a great coaster isn't thi-URP! I think I'm gonna be sick. Can I puke in your purse?

Byakuya: Oh great, a parlor! I forgot to have these curlers taken out before…

Urahara: Her we are, honey! Just in time for the taping of Whose Line is it Anyway!

Ichigo: And that's it! Thanks for watching, and please tune in next time!

* * *

Thanks for reading this! As usual, please read and review. You can also suggest some Scenes from urahara's hat, as well as new contestants. Please, please, please review! And I didn't mean to offend any naruto fans out there with that little comment in the middle. I respect Naruto as a manga, I just think that it was better as a manga. So yeah, R and R!


	3. Chapter 3

Konichiwa, people! I just thought up some crazy new skits to include in everybody's favorite TV show. Oh, and thanks to MikeyDenDang for suggesting our cast for this edition of the show. You get a cookie. Oh, and good luck with the Inuyasha edition! Anyways, for fans of Nnoitra, expect some serious character pummeling of the poor guy. Not to mention a lot of adult content. People, you have been warned. Also, I've been noticing a major increase in this story being favorited (yahoo!) but not a lot of reviews or suggestions. So please, people, review! Oh, and please read my other work Into their Hearts and Souls, blog entries by your fave Bleach characters (self-advertising).

Ichigo: Ulquiorra is here?

Me: Ayup!

Ichigo: But he's the most unfunny person on the planet

Me: It's called fan service, dude. Live with it.

* * *

Ichigo: Hello and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, where everything's made up and the points don't matter, yes, the points don't matter, just like eating ice cream in the winter. I mean seriously, who does that? Anyways, our contestants today are a couple of cou-ha ha, very punny. Anyways, we have Emo and Kitty, the crowd favorites: Grimmjow (who I do not have a relationship with) and Ulquiorra!*fangirls scream* Next, we have a famous case of opposites attract, Hiyori and Shinji! Our very first game is called Home Shopping. Can I call on Grimmjow and Ulquiorra?

Grimmjow: Alrighty you folks at home! Get your credit cards ready, because we have some excellent stuff for you guys o buy. Exciting, isn't it, Ulqi?

Ulquiorra: Frankly, I don't feel excited, elated, or even slightly happy.

Grimmjow: Okay… first we have a toilet seat cover cover!

Ulquiorra: For those with very beautiful toilet seat covers.

Grimmjow: Yesiree! You wanna keep those really nice covers safe, don'cha?

Ulquiorra: Plus, if you buy now, I think you get this booklet.

Grimmjow: It's not just a booklet. It's a scratch and sniff booklet!

Ulquiorra: But how can you use that?

Grimmjow: Simple! For words like apple, banana, flowers, well, you scratch the word and it'll smell just like what it describes.

Ulquiorra: It's amazing how we even got the word paper to smell like paper.

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: And that is the end of that game! Ulquiorra gets 100 points for thinking up the world's most deadpan funny joke. Anyways, the next game is a Ballad for a lucky someone in the audience, sung to you by Grimmjow and Shinji! Okay, now who will it be… ah! You there!

???: Huh?

Ichigo: Yes, you with the spoon hood. Come on down!

***Nnoitra walks to the stage with the crowd cheering***

Ichigo: Okay, and you are…?

Nnoitra: Nnoitra Jiruga.

Grimmjow: It's okay. I know exactly what to sing about him.

Nnoitra: 0_0 Oh crap.

***music starts playing***

Grimmjow: Spoon-hood Pervy Man, Spoon-hood Pervy Man.

Shinji: Does whatever a Pervy man does.*grins*

Grimmjow: He looks up skirts…

Shinji: He tries to flirt.

Grimmjow: Not to mention he looks down women's shirts.

Both: Look out, it's Spoon-head Pervy Man….

Shinji: Hiyori would kick him "down there" with her sandal…

Grimmjow: But it might just be too much to handle!

Shinji: I think his smile is creepier than mine.

Grimmjow: It gets worse when he slaps a woman's behind!

Both: Oh maaaaannnnn, it's Spoon-Head Pervy Man!

Shinji: Pet-sama is what he called a girl.

Grimmjow: He really makes me want to hurl!

Shinji: He metes out punishment with his spoon…

Grimmjow: But he's really a stupid buffoon.

Both: And girls hate it that he comes too soon!!! It's Spoon-Head Pervy MAAANNNNN!

(BUUUUUZZZZZ)

* * *

Ichigo: Ahahahaha! That was great stuff! Dude, return to your seat before I die of laughter.

Nnoitra: Grr…..

Ichigo: Ehehe…anyways, Grimmjow gets a thousand points. You deserve it, man. Our next game should be familiar to everyone: we're playing Questions Only. This is for everyone, so get your lazy butts of your chairs. The scenario is that Grimmjow and Shinji are at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. And…go!

Grimmjow: Is this Sexaholics Anonymous?

Shinji: … Can you please read that sign for me?

Grimmjow: Doesn't it say AA?

Shinji: Now, if that gigantic sign says AA, why would you come into this room?

Grimmjow: Doesn't it make sense that if there are alcoholics there are also sexaholics?

Shinji:…Are you some sort of idiot?

Grimmjow: Does an IQ of 80 make me an idiot?

Shinji: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?

Grimmjow: I think I'll just get going now…

***Hiyori enters***

Hiyori: Hoy, what the hell are you doing here?

Shinji: Umm… attending an AA meeting?

Hiyori: Wait… I thought you said you were going to an SA meeting?

Shinji: Erm… who told you that?

Hiyori: Um, isn't it obvious that you did?

Shinji: You sure it wasn't a blue-haired guy who told you?

Hiyori: Does it matter?

Shinji: Um, it kinda doe-acutally, IreallythinkIshouldgorightowand …***darts off***

***Ulquiorra enters***

Ulquiorra: Pardon me, but is this Alcoholics Anonymous?

Hiyori: Can't you read the sign?

Ulquiorra: Can't you see that I'm too depressed to read?

Hiyori: Then why aren't you at a therapist?

Ulquiorra: Did you not hear what I said before?

Hiyori: Why, you think I' deaf?

Ulquiorra: What if I thought you were stupid?

Hiyori: Then I'd tell you to go fuck yourself.

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: On a technicality, considering Hiyori's last line wasn't a question, Ulquiorra gets 200 points. Okay, Grimmjow currently in the lead. Up next, the certified crowd pleaser: Scenes from Urahara's Hat! Your first category (thanks to Mikey again for this) is that you are in a cheesy 50's anime, aka Speed Racer. Great.

Grimmjow: Faster, faster, we need to go faster!

Ulquiorra: Geez, it's always like this when we're in bed.

***crowd roars***

Ichigo: Okay, this might be too much information for the audience to handle! Somebody mop up the fangirl drool, please… On to the next topic, catchy songs that annoy the hell out of everybody!

Shinji: And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly!

Hiyori:…for a white guy…

Grimmjow: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts… ***takes off shirt***

Ichigo: Stop it! All the fangirls are screaming and my ears are bleeding! Next topic! Products that never really took off.

Ulquiorra: They're sad pills.

Grimmjow: 0_0 Umm… this shirt is for cat fans only! Covered in catnip and guaranteed to get cats (or me) all over you!

Random Fangirl 1: I'll buy it!

Random Fangirl 2: Me too!

Hiyori: No one cares… anyways, introducing the patented Hiyori sandal, great for hitting idiots with!

Ichigo: Okay… I think it's time to end this game. The author's already over the usual 3 game limit, and we can't extend this for too long. Everybody gets 500 points. Good job, especially from Ulquiorra. Nice improv in the beginning. :D But our obvious winner is, of course, Grimmjow.*fangirls scream really, really loud* Shut up! Or do you really want me to show you these pictures I found of Omaeda eating?*everyone pukes* Alright then. Our last game will be a gangsta rap about… custodians!

* * *

Grimmjow: They clean up with a broom

Then mop it all away

Ichigo: They work from night to night

And receive very little pay

G: Honestly I can't believe that they don't

Pay more to a dude who goes where others won't

Go for fear of contamination

They believe in major disease infestation

Ichigo: With uniforms so plain

They make his ***points at Grimmjow***

Look like they were designed by Liz

Claiborne not to mention that

Sweeping up puke just ain't phat

What with the slime and the grime where people do their time

And I'm sick of making up lines that rhyme

Grimmjow: I kinda feel real bad

They make me feel kinda sad

Having to clean up the mess, nonetheless they have to be dads (or moms)

But don't be scared to do your cleaning duty

Because you make the whole place a beauty!

Both: WORD.

Ulquiorra: You people should not be allowed within five miles of a beatbox and a microphone.

Ichigo: And that's it for today! Please, join us for the next edition of Whose Line Is It Anyway!

* * *

Thanks for reading! As usual, please read and review. I wanna get to ten reviews, at the very least, or else I won't make the next one. And let's have some more victi-er, nominees, please. Also, some more Scenes from Urahara's Hat would be nice. I din't mean to offend any Nnoitra fans, BTW. I mean, I'm one of his fans! But… this was too hard to resist.


	4. Chapter 4

Konichiwa everyone! This is a brand new round of Whose Line is it Anyway with a, get this, nearly all female cast! Yep, thanks to idontseepenguins and MikeyDenDang again for the contestant ideas, and also thanks to Ember Hinote for the Scene from Urahara's Hat. So, I hope you all enjoy this round! Remember, PiFace Co. will accept any requests for contestants and Scenes out of Urahara's hat. So read and review! Oh and a warning: there will be some racist acting of sorts here, so if you are easily offended, please don't read this. P.S. Sorry to shuikochan who made this idea first, but we wanna use it. Please???

* * *

Ichigo: Hello and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, that show where everything is made up and the points don't matter, just like the fact that Ikkaku shampoos his head. Yep, he really does that. So, it's time to introduce our contestants! First off, we have little miss princess herself, Orihime! Next, the two, erm, well,*blushes* we have Rangiku and Hallibel. Enough said. Last, and certainly least, the Ice Ice Baby himself, Toshiro Hitsugaya and his stupid screaming fangirls! Alright people, the first game is Number of Words! This is for all four of you. Hitsugaya can say one word, Orihime can say two, Rangiku can say three, and Hallibel can say whatever she likes. The scene is that two white women, Orihime and Rangiku, are trying to act black. Okay… they enter a store where Hitsugaya is the cashier, pretending to be black. Hitsugaya gets annoyed and calls the manager Hallibel. Ready… GO!

Rangiku: Where they at?

Hitsugaya: Who?

Rangiku: The white women!

Orihime: Yeah, foo!

Rangiku: Now, like this!*flashes the rock sign*

Orihime: Like this?*flashes peace sign*

Rangiku: Not like that!

Orihime: Can't see!

Rangiku: And why not?

Orihime: Script form.

Rangiku: Yeah! Sister from...

Orihime: From what?

Rangiku: Another mister! YO!

Orihime: Yeah! YO!

Hitsugaya: Yo?

Rangiku: Got a problem!

Hitsugaya: No!

Orihime: Better not!

Rangiku: Got yo back!

Orihime: Got back!

Rangiku: Stop dat, sister!

Orihime: Stop what?

Rangiku: Copying my style!

Orihime: Your style?!?

Rangiku: Yeah! My style!

Hitsugaya: Manager!

Hallibel: What you talkin' bout'?

Rangiku: Yo cashier. Mmmmhmmmm

Hallibel: What?

Rangiku: Dissin' us blacks!

Orihime: Dat' Right!

Hallibel: Black? Black! Ahahaha! You so white I could see through ya!

Orihime: And you?

Hallibel: I'm black!

Rangiku: You ain't black!

Orihime: Right sista!

Rangiku: You tan, baby!

Hallibel: You whiter than the midget!

Hitsugaya: MIDGET!

Rangiku: Yeah, you midget!

Orihime: Midget! Foo!

Hallibel: Us black women find you ah, insulting! We classy!

Rangiku: Woah! You Classy!

Orihime: Yeah Classy!

Hallibel: I get it! I mean street slang does not define the blacks you racists!

Rangiku: It don't? Hmmm…

Orihime: Yeah… Hmmmm…

Hitsugaya: RACIST!

Hallibel: You the racist, calling me the racist!

Hitsugaya: THEM!

Hallibel: OHHH! Bring it!

Rangiku: You bring it!

Orihime: No fight!

Hitsugaya FIGHT!

Orihime: I pity!

Hitsugaya: Who?

Orihime: The fools.

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo:…Wow. One of the worst skits that I have ever seen since this show was created, and believe me, a lot of these things are pretty bad.

Authors: Well excuuuuuuuse us, but who writes the story here?

Ichigo: You do…

Authors: Good.

Ichigo: Anyways, Hitsugaya managed to preserve his dignity the most, so he gets 100 points. Next up is the guaranteed crowd pleaser: Scenes from Urahara's Hat! Hopefully these will redeem the show. First scene is: A day at Hitsugaya-taicho's office. Oh, no…

Matsumoto: MATSUMOTO!!!!!!!!

Hitsugaya: Um, like, hai, Hitsugaya-taicho? I'm all drunk and stuff, but I'll do all my paperwork and never drink again!

Matsumoto: No need for that, Matsumoto, and please, call me Shiro-chan. I've done all the work, and I want you to spend all of the cash I've earned because I never use it for anything!

Hitsugaya: Well, Hitsugaya-taicho, you should spend that money on paper so that I can do more paperwork! And clean the office! And actually do something worthwhile for once!

Matsumoto: Oh no, I already did all of that because I'm a workaholic! Meanwhile, why don't you drink all of this sake, Matsumoto? I would, but I'm underage!*winks*

Hitsugaya: Well… umm…oh yeah? Hey, Hitsugaya-taicho! I set you up on a date with Momo! W-wait a minute….

Ichigo: Epic Failure. Moving on… our next scene out of a hat is: the Lonely Spirit Hotline for Singles! Wonder how this will turn out…

Matsumoto: Hello, this is Keigo Asano.

Ichigo: Well, that pretty much sums up the whole category. Now, why don't we move on to-

Everybody: NO!!!!!

Ichigo: Okay, fine! We'll continue this, but for not so long, okay?

Hitsugaya:*sticks finger up nose* Oh, hiya. Yeah, yeah, oh, wait, let me eat something first.*puts finger in mouth* Yeah, okay, done.

Orihime: Need something sewn? No prob!

Hallibel: Ahem… oh yeah, yeah, baby! Call me a spoony bard again! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Nnoitra: Hoy! What do you people have against me?

Pie: Nothing, really. Pi here actually thinks you're awesome…

Pi: Yup yup!

Pie: But… you're very easy to mock.

Nnoitra: Whatever sells, right?

Phi: Exactly! So glad you can see it our way. Now, come on! Keep acting!

Matsumoto: Yeah, this is Ichigo Kurosaki…

Ichigo: Alright! That's enough for this topic! Now, the next is: Shinigami Pickup Lines! Oh, joy…

Hallibel: Hey, you girl. Yeah, wanna help me sheathe my zanpakutou?

Ichigo: You know, that line would be a lot funnier if a guy had said it…

Hitsugaya: Hey, wanna help me do paperwork?

Fangirl: Of course! And if I don't do the paperwork, will you give me a lecture?

Hitsugaya: Um, sure, but I don't see why you would want a lecture…

Matsumoto: Aw, you're becoming a big boy!

Hallibel:…Love is blind, is it not? Oh, and…JUSTICE!

Audience: WHOO!

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Yeah! Apparently Tousen has his own pickup lines. 500 points to Hallibel!

Random Guy 1: Is that her cup size?

Random Guy 2: Oh yeah, hi five!

Hallibel: Excuse me for a moment…

* * *

Ichigo: We are now back from our break. Sorry it was so long, but we had to clear out the charred remains of two of our audience members. Anyways, I'll be playing a game with Hallibel called If You Know What I mean. Basically, we'll be speaking in all euphemisms, and they have to be related to the scene at hand. The scene is, oh, this is horrible: two 11th Division members, unnamed, are in the locker rooms after a particularly long day of training and whatnot. Go!

Ichigo: Well, that was a great way to sharpen my blade, if you know what I mean.

Hallibel: Oh yeah, but I think you pulled a 4th Division there, if you know what I mean.

Ichigo: Really? I thought I went into Bankai, if you know what I mean.

Hallibel: Yeah, you tried, but for me it was like you were stuck in Shikai, if you know what I mean.

Ichigo: You pulled off a Hado back there, didn't you?

Hallibel: Oh yeah, I do love slaying them Hollows, if you know what I mean…

Ichigo: And I'm kinda happy because this was my first training mission, if you know what I mean?

Hallibel: I think I do. And I know you managed to shupo there and back, right?

Ichigo: Yep. Hey, wanna help me sheathe this zanpakutou?

Hallibel: Erm…no.

(BUUUUUZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Yeah, okay, the awkward moment is finally done with! Thanks for watching this, and remember to review, or else the authors are gonna slaughter us! See you soon.

* * *

Well, that was fun. I hope you all liked it! Please read, review, and recommend! Those are our three R's right there! See y'all soon!


	5. Chapter 5

Konichiwa, everyone! We're sorry for the delay in updating the series, but we've been having a little trouble thinking of jokes and such for the characters, but… we finally managed! Thank you to idontseepenguins for the character recommendations! And, oh, hold on…

Nnoitra: Why do I have to say the disclaimer? I mean, why the hell would I do anything you say?

Pi: Because you'll be allowed to act in this round?

Nnoitra: Ah, hell yes! Okay, the authors of this work don't own Bleach, any of its characters, or Whose Line is it Anyway. Anything else?

Pi: No, because I'm having you tortured in the fics of other people.

Nnoitra: Huh?

Pi: Nothing, nothing…

* * *

Ichigo: Hey everybody, welcome back to Whose Line is It Anyway, that show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! Yes, the points don't matter, just like what my dad tells me! Speaking of that, he's one of our lucky contestants… my dad, Isshin Kuro-*gets kicked in the face*

Isshin: ICHIGO!!!!!!

Ichigo: Ah, you maniac!*punches his dad* Anyways! Our next contestant, the real suga baby, Yachiru Kusajishi!*cheers from the audience*Next up, the Butterfly's Samurai ***shudder*** Kenpachi Zaraki. Oh yes, the last minute addition, jeez, why'd it have to be him, Nnoitra Jiruga… Seriously, why you?

Nnoitra: Because I did the disclaimer.

Ichigo: Nah, it's because one of the authors is biased. Watched that 40 minute fight of yours and Kenpachi five times. Weirdo. Anyways, our first game is for my dad, Yachiru, and Nnoitra! Okay, it's everyone's favorite, Two Lines. Yachiru and Nnoitra can only say two pre-determined lines each. Yachiru, you can say loser and how much am I being paid for this? Nnoitra, you can say…*stares at cue card*Are the authors serious? Jesus Christ, this is going overboard on the nerd!

Nnoitra: What? What?

Ichigo: You get to say all your base are belong to us and pwnage…

Authors: Deal with it!

Ichigo: Fine, fine. Anyways, the scene is: my dad is an army general trying to coach two particularly stubborn recruits. Ready, and… go!

Isshin: Okay, when we invade an enemy base the first step is unleash-

Nnoitra: Pwnage!!!

Isshin: No, we unleash our guns, ya idiot. Then we say-

Nnoitra: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

Isshin: Something like that, but with better grammar. Okay, let's try that again.

Nnoitra: All your base… are belong to us?

Isshin: Jesus, you l33t speakers are hopeless. Okay, let's move on to our next… recruit?

Yachiru: How much am I being paid for this?

Isshin: Aren't you a bit too young to be in the army?

Yachiru: HOW MUCH AM I BEING PAID FOR THIS?

Isshin: Ten dollars!

Yachiru: Loser…

Isshin: Hey, in this economy-*gets kicked in the head*

Yachiru: LOSER!!!

Nnoitra:Pwnage!

***Yachiru tries to hi-five him but can't reach**, **then kicks him***

Yachiru: Loser!

Nnoitra:*points to an unconscious Isshin* All your base are belong to us!

Yachiru: Loser!

Isshin: Jesus, where are we getting these recruits???

(BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Hell yeah! That's the stuff! Okay, for beating up my dad, Nnoitra and Yachiru get 200 points each. Good job, people. Next up, we have another round of Home Shopping starring Yachiru and Kenpachi! Whee…

Yachiru: Hi everybody! We're gonna be selling stuff! Right, Ken-chan?

Kenpachi: Yup, that's right. I think…

Yachiru: Ken-chan, you're not supposed to think. That's my job! Anyways, first we're selling… candy bars!

Kenpachi: But not just any ordinary candy bars.

Yachiru: Nope, they're half-eaten! See, if you only eat half a candy bar, you only get half the calories, so it's great for people on a diet!

Kenpachi: I still can't see that as being logical…

Yachiru: It is, it is! And besides, if you buy, you have to give me a bag of candy!

Kenpachi: Shouldn't we be giving the buyers free stuff?

Yachiru: No way! And anyways, if nobody buys, Ken-chan will fight you all, right Ken-chan?

Kenpachi: Well, I have been aching for a good fight…

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's a bit too much, don't you think? Anyways, Yachiru gets 100 points for coming up with an actual product, 'cept that it may not be a marketable product… Okay, next up we have… Scenes from a Hat! This is for everyone, so get up! Your first scene is… what would have happened if Bush had gotten diarrhea during his Oathaking. Let's get started!

Nnoitra: Okay, Mr. Bush. Please repeat after me. I do solemnly swear…

Isshin: I do solemnly swear…

Nnoitra: That I will faithfully execute…

Isshin: That I will fai-far-fat….

Nnoitra: Fai-th-full-y…

Isshin: Faithfully execute…

Nnoitra: The Office of the President of the United States.

Isshin: The Office of the President of… Bathroom!

Nnoitra: And will, to the best of my… what did you say?

Isshin: Bathroom! I gotta go!

Nnoitra: But you're taking the Oath to become President!

Isshin: I'm wetting my pants!

Nnoitra:*looks down* I think you mean staining them…

Isshin: Whatever! Let me go!

Nnoitra: We're filming live! You better finish!

Isshin: Fine! I promise whatever you want me to!

Nnoitra: Even if I tell you to give me a million dollars?

Kenpachi: Hold it!

Nnoitra: Holy crap, it's Al Gore!

Yachiru: And his campaign manager!

Kenpachi: We have evidence that you cheated during…what's that smell?

Isshin: Ehehehe…

Everyone: Ick.

Kenpachi: You're destroying the atmosphere. Stop polluting with your poo!

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Okay, I think that's enough poo talk. Go Nnoitra for trying to extort money from my dad! 200 points to you, which means…Oh no…*sweat drops*

Nnoitra: Yeah, I won! I am the best, I am the best! Whoo!*points at Yachiru* You suck, because you're a girl!

Ichigo: Shut up! You're really annoying, you know that? Anyways, when we come back, Nnoitra gets to act in a game with me. Oh, joy…

Pi: What?

Ichigo: And our last game is… Whose Line! The way this works is that we two will be acting as two people, and on occasion we'll be incorporating lines suggested by the audience.

* * *

Ichigo: Welcome back, everyone! Our scene is that there are two commentators for a basketball game. Nnoitra is going to be the nervous announcer who just started today, and I'm gonna be the more experienced announcer. Okay, let's get started.

Nnoitra: Oh man, oh man, oh man…

Ichigo: You nervous?

Nnoitra: Hell yeah, I am! I'm reporting for the game between the Milwaukee Eskimos and the Alaskan Farmers, my two favorite teams!

Ichigo: Well then, here's some advice from our producers, along with a script. Let's see… Don't worry, because "_Women are twice as smart as men_," and since you look like a woman already, it's sufficient to say you're pretty smart…

Nnoitra: Um, gee thanks. Okay, welcome to Sports Center, where "_All your base are belong to Szayel_", the manager of this arena. All the teams belong to him. Anyways, they're gonna be playing right here, right now!

Ichigo: Did we mention that "_Cheese is a smelly food_," because we're having a clearance sale on tickets in the back, the cheesy rows, so hurry up and buy, buy, buy!

Nnoitra: Okay, they're tossing the ball!

Ichigo: Oh, and Stintson just pulled a "_Jizz in my pants_" move, because I'm getting really pumped! Are you getting really pumped?

Nnoitra: Hell yeah, I'm getting pumped! But…*looks at paper*"_The little birdies are starting to chirp_", because I saw some of the players pull some cheap moves there!

Ichigo: And it's "_Epicly epicly epic_!" They're getting into a fist fight! Whoa whoa whoa!

(BUUUUUUZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: And that's it for the worst episode of this show we have ever had! Please, don't join us again for another round of Whose Line is it Anyway!

* * *

And that's it! Yeah, I know, this one really sucked, but we really need more Scenes from a Hat and contestants. Thanks for reading, and please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Konichiwa, everyone! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this in a while, but, well…

Ichigo: You were just too lazy!

Leave me alone! Anyways, to make up for it, this will be an extra-long, super awesome round. We're gonna have five games today. Five games! Oh, and… ahem!

Ichigo: The awesomely awesome Bleach and its' characters do not belong to the author. Also, Whose Line is it Anyway doesn't belong to the author either. Oh yeah… only one author?

Yeah, the group thing wasn't working out. Oh, and thanks to Ember Hinote, xxmimix3, and MikeyDenDang for your suggestions. Sorry to those whose suggestions I haven't used, but you guys get cookies!

* * *

Ichigo: Hello, and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! Yes, the points don't matter, just like Matsumoto's IQ! Okay, I warned you people to stay away, but you wouldn't listen… Today we have a 13th Division exclusive! First, the other Shiro, Captain Jyuushiro Ukitake!

Ukitake:*waves*

Ichigo: Next up, the terrible twosome, Kiyone and Sentarou!

Kiyone: Eh? Why are you pairing me up with that loser?

Sentarou: Whaddya mean loser, you dumb blonde?

Kiyone: How dare you? Captain! Captain!

Ichigo: MOVING ON! Our next contestant is –OMG! My evil twin!

Kaien: No I'm not. I'm Kaien Shiba!

Ichigo: Wait… when you say Shiba, you mean like Ganju?

Kaien: Oh, you know my little brother?

Ichigo: He ain't so little anymore… Anyways, on to our first game, which is…Alphabet! This is for Kiyone and Sentarou. Basically, I'll give you a scene, and a letter of the alphabet, with each starting with each successive letter. Your scene is… you're arguing over whose turn it is to get Ukitake's medicine, as per usual. Your letter is…T. Ready, and go!

Kiyone: Time to get medicine for the captain, and as usual I'm going to do it!

Sentarou: Unless you want this messed up, I suggest that I should do it.

Kiyone: Vain, aren't you?

Sentarou: Watch your mouth, missy!

Kiyone: X-ray your skull and they'll find nothing!

Sentarou: You are the worst example of a soul reaper I have ever seen!

Kiyone: Zebras could handle medicine bottles better than you do!

Sentarou: Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?

Kiyone: Bully! Everyone knows that the captain prefers me!

Sentarou: Can't you see he thinks that a man should handle this?

Kiyone: Doubtful…

Sentarou: Excuse me?

Kiyone: For crying out loud man, I question your manliness!

Sentarou: Good god!

Kiyone: How can you say you're a man when I know that you knit!

Sentarou:I-

(BUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Great job there, folks! A thousand points to Kiyone! And does he really knit?

Kiyone: Yes he does!

Sentarou: Hey, wait a minute! I didn't have a chance to retaliate!

Ichigo: I choose when to buzz, so shut up. Anyways, our next game is for Ukitake and… Kaien. We're gonna be playing Animals! Basically, you two are going to be acting out a soap opera, except you're going to be acting it out as the species I tell you. So, you guys will be… monkeys! And… go!

Kaien: So did you hear?

Ukitake: Yeah, Bernie doesn't eat bananas!

Kaien: No! I have…

Ukitake: What?

Kaien: Ebola!

Ukitake: E-E-Ebola!

Kaien: I thought you'd be the one to get sick!

Ukitake: Whatever.*starts to scratch butt*

Kaien: Why don't you care?

Ukitake: I'll be worried when we're endangered.

Kaien: But we are!

Ukitake:… Quick! We must mate!

Kaien: But I'm male…

Ukitake: Eh, we all look the same. How am I supposed to be able to tell the difference?

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Okay, awkward… anyways, 200 points to the both of ya. Our next game is called Superheroes. We'll pick out a name for one of our contestants, as well as a global problem, and one by one the others will come in. Now, what kind of superhero would Ukitake be?

Kyoraku: Whitey!

Toshiro: Beardless Santa!

Yachiru: Sick Man!

Ichigo: Sick Man! And the global problem is…

Kyoraku: Too much paperwork!

Nanao: :-(

Kyoraku: What?

Ichigo: Okay, the problem is too much paperwork for Sick Man. And….GO!

Ukitake: Too much…cough… paperwork… getting buried….head spinning…I need help…

Kaien: What's the problem, Sick Man!

Ukitake: Thank goodness you're*cough* here, Captain Effeminate!

Kaien: Oh, pshaw. It was, like, nothing! And your home is FABULOUS!

Ukitake: There's too much..URGH!

Kaien: OMG! Like, what's wrong?

Ukitake: Nothing… I was just having… a stroke.

Kaien: Can you breathe, dahling?

Ukitake: Yeah…kinda… anyways, there's too much…

Kaien: Um, like, too much whaaaaat?

Ukitake: Too much…paperwork…

Sentarou: Never fear, my good man!

Ukitake: Otaku Man… thank god you're here..

Sentarou: Hehehe…*snorts* I love moe…

Ukitake: We need to…finish this… paperworKEEHHHH!*starts hacking and coughing*

Sentarou: No problem!*snorts*I'll get my robot maids to do it!

Kaien: Um… you really do know that robot maaaaaids aren't, like, realllll? They're, umm, totally fictional.

Sentarou:A man can*sniffle* dream, can't he?

Kaien:Well, 'scuse me dahling, but you ain't really, like, much of a man.

Sentarou: You're ***snivel*** one to talk.

Kiyone: What's the problem?

Ukitake:Hoora-ehehe*coughs*… it's Whiny Woman…

Kiyone: Why aren't you guys getting ready? And why doesn't anybody listen to me?

Kaien: Girl, I think you're PMSing. Mmhmm!

Ukitake: But…the paper*cough*work…

Kaien: Uhuh, no way. I just got my nails done, biatch! I'm out! ***walks away***

Sentarou:Um…*snorts* With my*glavin* current strength level, I don't*snort* think I could finish that*sniffle* paperwork. Live long and prosper!*walks away*

Kiyone: NOOOOOO! Why does everyone expect me to do everything? Why is there so much paperwork? And why does it look like you're not breathing? Are you even listening to me? Hello? Uh, whatever!*walks out*

Ukitake: Can't… breathe…*passes out*

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Oh man. Okay, while we try to get him to, um, unfaint… let's take a short break.

* * *

Ichigo: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway! Hey, Ukitake, you okay?

Ukitake: Yeah…I'm fine…

Kiyone and Sentarou: Captain! Please don't strain yourself!

Ichigo: Ahem! 500 points for all four of you. Great job back there. Anyways! Next game is the guaranteed crowd pleaser, Scenes from Urahara's Hat! (Why do we always have this…) This is for everyone, again, and Ukitake, please don't try too hard… your first scene is Places You Shouldn't Put your Zanapkutou.

Kaien: Like my-

Ichigo: NO! Not like that! Okay, ready and… go!

Kaien: Ah! I need to piss! I need to piss! What's this? "Cosplay Items". Hmm, weird way to spell closet. Oh well, I guess I'll just put it here along with these other swords…

Ichigo: Nice try, but not as funny as I expected. Next category…Ukitake and Unohana go on a date. Okay?

Kiyone: Thanks for inviting me on this date, Ukitake-taicho.

Ukitake: Oh please, it was nothing. And just call me Jyuushiro-san, okay?

Kiyone:*blushes* Alright , Jyuushiro-san. Say, what restaurant are we going to?

Ukitake: Oh no, I'm making all the food myself.

Kiyone:…Yourself?

Ukitake: Yeah! I'll be making curry and steak and my super special Bloody Mary!

Kiyone:…Bloody Mary?

Ukitake: It's special because I add a super special ingredient to make it more authentic!

Kiyone:0_0

Ichigo: Whoa… moving on. Next topic is… my dad telling me he's a Soul Reaper. Wait, my dad's a soul reaper? WHY DIDN"T HE TELL ME? WTF?

Ukitake:…Maybe we should skip to the next scene?

Ichigo: Okay, yeah, maybe that'll help. My dad is 10th Division captain, and Hitsugaya is his son…

Kaien: Hello, son!

Ukitake: Shut up, dad!

Kaien: Oh my… maybe you should eat more vegetables. That way you'll grow up big and strong, just like your big old dad!

Ukitake:… One more word and you die…

Kaien: HYAH!*attempts to kick Ukitake but fails*

Ichigo: Congratulations! You just beat my dad for Worst Impression of Bruce Lee ever! On to the final scene…Hanatarou beating up a random victim. And…Let's go!

Sentarou: This is for all the times your people beat us up!

Kiyone: No, please don't hurt me…

Sentarou: You deserve it Zaraki-taicho!

Kenpachi: You aching for a fight?

Sentarou: NO!!!!!!!

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Okay! That's a bit much! We do not allow brawls on this show! Okay, 2000 points to Sentarou. And the winner is…Sentarou! Congratulations, man, you get to sit out our last game, which is another World's Worst!

* * *

Sentarou: Welcome back from our break. Because I am so much more awesome than Kiyone, I won!

Kiyone: Loser! Captain, he insulted me!

Ukitake: Would the two of you please be quiet?

Sentarou:…A-Anyways, we'll be playing World's Worst. And today it is… World's Worst ways to fire someone. Hey, captain, this'll be good practice for when you fire Kiyone!

Kiyone: How dare you!!!!!!

Kaien: Both of you, shut up! The captain is getting a migraine!

Sentarou: We'll just get started again. Ready…go!

Kiyone: I see… in my crystal ball…

Kaien: Yes, yes?

Kiyone: You… standing outside the unemployment office with a resume in hand…

Kaien: Why would you see that?

Kiyone: Because you're fired.

Ukitake: Hey, could you hold this torch for me?

Ichigo: Sure…

Kiyone: You know what Donald Trump says in the Apprentice?

Ichigo: You're fired?

Kiyone: Yeah, about that…

Ukitake: Hello.

Kaien: Hello…

Ukitake: You're being let go.

Kaien: But why? My job could be done by a monkey.

Ukitake: Exactly. I would like you to meet who's replacing you. Say hello, Bobo.

Ichigo: Oooh.

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: And that's it! See you next time for more Whose Line is it Anyway!

* * *

Thanks for reading! Your reviews would be greatly appreciated. Remember to keep giving recommendations for contestants as well as Scenes from Urahara's Hat! Once again, thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Konichiwa everybody! I'm back, and even better then before! Or at least I hope I am! All my crewmembers went away for their "solo careers", but seriously, they aren't good without me! So bye Phi, Ply and Roger! Oh, you realized that Pie's still here. Yeah, good old Pie, she gives me my snacks while I write. Oh, this is a special Whose Line is it Anyway though because… Pie is going to be the main writer in this one. Lets just say, if this chapter does well, it was all my idea, if it doesn't, then blame Pie! Thanks! Please rate and review! I'm not even shy on this one because Pie will take all the blame! Muahahahaha! (Working on evil laugh)! Oh, BTW, thanks Nicole Kurosaki, Pie has decided to use your idea for this one! Ember Hinote, we got another one of your ideas but somewhat twisted it! Thanks! Again, blame Pie… I will finally have proof that I am better than Pie! Muahahahaha! Again, working on evil laugh.

* * *

**Ichigo: **Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? Seriously, Whose is it?

Silence

**Ichigo: **Okay… let's continue. The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Yes, the points don't matter just like what Zangetsu thinks in his spare time, I mean really, WHO CARES! Well, today we have stuffed toys as our contestants, yes, the Mod Soul Special! Woot! Woot! (Yeah right) We first have, of course, Kon!

**Kon: **Of course it's me!

**Ichigo: **Shut up! Okay, and next is Lirin!

**Lirin: **Yeah Kon, Shut up! Oh, my turn in the spotlight!

**Ichigo: **Now, Nova!

**Nova: **silence

**Ichigo: **Okay… And, the best for last (yeah right) Kurodo!

**Kurodo: **Thank you, thank you! Thank you for coming to see my magnificent show!

[CLONK]

**Ichigo: **Lirin! You didn't have to hit him! (Though it was annoying)

**Kurodo: **(sob…) he's right (sob…)

**Lirin: **Just get on with the show!

**Ichigo: **Fine, today we are going to start with a favorite… Scenes from Urahara's Hat! Let's start with… oh, here's a good one… worst things to say when you are about to fall of a building!

**Nova: **Aww… Look at the tiny people, so cute, I wish I could get them, whoa… AHHHHH!

**Kurodo: **HERE'S THE TOILET! FINALLY, OKAY… JUST GOT A GET READY TO TAKE A… DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!

BUZZZZZZZZZ!

**Ichigo: **Not what I was expecting… any last words… well… our next one is… Hahaha, what Hanatarou will never achieve!

**Kon: **Clears throat a wife… no… a girlfriend.

(Leaves… then comes back)

**Kon: **Sorry… I mean… a date.

BUZZZZZZZZ!

**Ichigo: **That pretty much sums up everything on that scene, next up is "Who you wouldn't expect to be on a bill"!

**Kon: **Bush.

BUZZZZZZZZ!

**Ichigo: **HEY! This is a Bleach related Whose Line, not the real thing… you do something like this…

(Walks up to center stage)

**Ichigo: **And say something like this… Oh, a bill, KENPACHI! HEY WAIT! WHO PUT THAT THERE! THAT'S SCARY!

BUZZZZZZZZZ!

**Lirin: **Get on with the show idiots!

**Ichigo: **Hey, it's not like you're doing anything! Humph… The next one is good news, bad news.

**Lirin: **If you really want me to do something… Kenpachi-taicho just learned bankai!

**Ichigo: **That…w….was…just…f…f…for…th…th…the…game, r…r…right?

**Lirin: **Who knows?

**Ichigo: **O…o… is collecting himself Well, 1,000 points for Nova, I thought you would be silent for the whole game! Though minus 500 from you, because now I lost a bet with the producer… (Sigh…) Now our next game is… oh… Party Perks. This is for all four of you. Lirin is going to be hosting a party and all three of you have a certain personality on each card. Lirin will guess. Let's start the party!

**Lirin: **I can't wait for them to come, then, if they get drunk, I'll have blackmail!

DING DONG!

**Kon: **[A guy who thinks people's butts are sandwiches] Whoa! Look at that! You could put a whole lot of salami between those buns!

**Lirin: **Aye! Perv!

**Ichigo: **Nope! He was like that to begin with.

DING DONG

**Lirin: **Coming!

**Kurodo: **[All Disney Princesses rolled into one] is it almost midnight! _Who is that girl I see_!

**Lirin: **What is this?

DING DONG

**Lirin: **Oh no…

**Nova: **[If Hyonimaru and Sode No Shirayuki were fighting] Ice, Ice, and… more Ice… (Sigh)

**Lirin: **Let the party begin!

**Kurodo: **Oh, are those apples? Mmmm (Chews apples) … I feel dizzy!

**Lirin: **Oh my gosh! He fell! Get a doctor!

**Kon: **Sure… whoa! Those muttin' chops would be great with some cheese, I'll try some…

**Lirin: **Would you prefer a real sandwich instead of a butt?

BUZZZZZZZZ!

**Ichigo: **You got it!

**Lirin: **He is still a perv!

**Nova: **Whoosh! Whoosh! [He is making weird actions in the air as if he is two people]

**Kurodo: **[Looks at Nova]My prince charming!

**Lirin: **Eww! Are you a princess?

**Ichigo: **Close…

**Kurodo: **[Looks at Lirin] You are more like a beast!

**Lirin: **Why you little…!

**Ichigo: **Guess!

**Kurodo: **Oh, an apple! It's almost midnight! _Be my guest, be my guest!_ I want to be part of their world! My prince charming!

**Lirin: **Disney princess!

BUZZZZZZ!

**Nova: **Whoosh!

**Lirin: **What the hell is he supposed to be?

**Nova: **Whoosh! Whoosh! Ice!

**Lirin: **Some retarded dude addicted to Ice?

**Ichigo: **Do you give up?

**Lirin: **So he's not a retarded dude?

**Ichigo: **No, he isn't. I'll count it as giving up. He is Hyorinmaru and Sode no Shirayuki fighting. Though, I don't disagree with you. Nova sucks at acting!

**Lirin: **You got that right!

Nova is now sad

**Kurodo: **Aww! Nova… you did well. Because she couldn't guess you won!

**Ichigo: **Actually… no, I'm awarding 1,000 points to Kon for getting on Lirin's ass, if she has any. (Snicker!)

**Lirin: **Hey!

**Ichigo: **Moving on to our next game! Directors Cut! This is for all four of you! Kon and Lirin are on a date when the waiter, Kurodo, gives them the bill; they realize they have no money! The director, Nova, will keep coming in with notes on how to make the scene better. Nova, you're list is there! Let's begin!

**Lirin: **Why do I have to be on a date with him!

**Kon: **Hey! It's not like I'm enjoying this! There are far more chesty girls than you! Oh wait, every single girl is chestier then you!

**Ichigo: **Live with it! Oh, use that anger in the scene! Okay, Lirin is mad at Kon who only paid half the taxi bill and now is taking her revenge by buying everything on the menu and that is why they can't afford it! Long sentence! And go!

**Lirin: **Humph…

**Kon: **Why are you mad at me! I paid half the taxi bill, wasn't that enough! Now you bought the whole menu and you're still mad at ME!

**Kurodo: **Madame, Mounsier, your bill.

**Kon: **WTF!

**Nova: **[interrupting] No, no, no! This is all wrong; the public is not going to like this!

**Kurodo: **What does the public like?

**Nova: **Good question, survey has shown that the people like rap! RAP! And action!

**Lirin: **Yo man, I'm pissed!

**Kon: **I paid the half the taxi fare

You buy all the stuff

And still, and still

You still so tough

**Kurodo: **Yo mam, yo sir, I just got to say

Yo check, yo bill, yo got to pay!

**Lirin: **Word!

**Kon: **I ain't got dough for this

When all you do in life, is make… lists?

**Nova: **Wrong again! Okay, fine, do it all over, this time… Aha! You are all babies! Yes, genius, babies, everybody loves cute things! GENIUS!

**Lirin: **Me no likey you!

**Kon: **WAHHH! Why you no likey!

**Kurodo: **Ecuse me. Ecuse me! ECUSE ME! WAHHHH! You no listen me, you no listen!

**Kon: **Wha is! WHA!

**Kurodo: **S…s… SOWY! WAHHHH!

**Lirin: **Bad Kon, bad Kon! It okay, it bettew, muts bettew!

**Kurodo: **Wu have to pway. PWAY NOW!

**Kon: **WAHHH! No have! I no have! WAHHHH! S…s….SOWWY!

**Nova: **You people can do nothing right! Okay, all of you are either Kenpachi or Nnoitra, really wanting a fight! This'll get the Bleach fans!

**Lirin: **I'm mad! I'M MAD! LET'S FIGHT!

**Kon: **YES!

They start attacking each other

**Kurodo: **Kon!

Still fighting

**Kurodo: **Kon!

Fight even more

**Kurodo: **Kon

Fight! Fight! Fight!

**Kurodo: **Kon!

BUZZZZZZZZ!

**Ichigo: **Why aren't you doing anything Kurodo!

**Kurodo: **Oh, I'm acting like you during the Kenpachi vs. Nnoitra fight!

Still fighting

**Kurodo: **KON!

BUZZZZZZZZ!

**Ichigo: **Okay! Let's end that game, Everyone except Kurodo get's 100 points. : P. Hah! Take that! When we get back, the winner gets to do a little something special with me!

* * *

**Ichigo: **I hope you like the break! Oh yeah, none of those commercials you watched had any truth in them, just saying. Okay, tonight's winner is Nova! YAY! He isn't such a pain in the ass compared to the others! Okay, the game is… oh no… since Nova is the winner he gets to sit down and relax while all of us do a hoe down. Ugh… I have to work with them!

**Kurodo: **Hey!

**Kon: **Yeah!

CLONK!

**Ichigo: **Oww!

**Lirin: **Serve's you right!

**Ichigo: **Oww… *sniffle* Anyway, can the audience give me something they wouldn't expect to happen!

**Ember Hinote: **Someone getting beat up by Hanatarou!

**Ichigo: **Okay, a hoe down about someone getting beat up by Hanatarou. Let's go! Shuuhei Hisagi now provides our music, on his guitar! Okay, the hoedown now!Shuuhei, take it away!

Hoe down music starts

**Kurodo: **I was walking down the street, like any other day

That is when I saw it, down by the bay

When I saw who it was, just that dawn

I knew he deserved it, cause it was Kon

**Kon: **Humph…

**Lirin: **Looked real kind, harmless as could be

That's what Hanatarou looked, like to me

It was happening, close to my flowerbed

But when I checked it later, he was already dead

(Too bad it wasn't Kon)

**Kon: **I heard that!

**Ichigo: **There was a loud racket, Kon just wanted to see

**Kon: **Hey!

**Ichigo: **[no stopping] He actually went there, just to pee

There he saw it, he should have chosen a weaker bee

Cause who he was attacking was Kenpachi Zaraki.

**Kon: **Well… I'll beat all of you… okay

He was beating up, several people bad

They got beat up by Hanatarou, how sad

They were really weak, I have to say

It's all the people here, all those gays!

**All: **All those gays!

…

**All: **Hey wait!

**Ichigo: **Kon, I'm going to kill you!

**Kurodo: **Why you!

**Nova: **He's already gone.

**Lirin: **Let's get him!

They all run to get him

**Nova: **Sigh… That was the Mod Soul Special, hope you enjoyed! Join us next time on Whose Line is it Anyway, Bleach Edition!

* * *

I'm sorry about that beginning note. I think I was high on candy or something… anyways, hope you guys liked it! Also the speedy update! Hooray for Pie! Please rate and review for the usual and your response to Pie! Thanks! And if you say Pie's crazy, you are just encouraging Pie. Pie likes it, Pie is crazy. Thanks! 

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Stop it Pie, you already had your time to write this Whose Line!


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, first of all, yes, I have been lazy about updating this. But hey, school just started, so I'm sorry to say that updates will be pretty oddly scheduled. Anyways, today is the start of the Zanpakutou Spirit Special! Wahoo! Now, as per usual, I'd like to ask everyone to please read and review. And thank you to Ember Hinote, Nicole Kurosaki, sallythedestroyerofworlds23, MikeyDenDang, Cloudo96, and Kai's-Suzaku for your reviews! Arigato guys!

* * *

Zangetsu: Hello everyone, and welcome to the Zanpakutou Spirit special of Whose Line is it Anyway, where everything's made up and the points don't matter, like Ichigo! Ha! Take that!

----Meanwhile, back stage----

Ichigo: ACHOO!

Rukia: What is it, Ichigo? Are you sick?

Ichigo: No, I just think that Zangetsu's talking trash about me.

----Back to the set----

Zangetsu: Sorry. Anyways, our competitors today are: the Ice Queen, miss Sode no Shirayuki. Not to mention Mr. Freeze himself, Hyorinmaru. Also, Little Miss Innocent, Tobiume, and the Kitty Cat Haineko. Dear lord, the gags here are just awful.

Pi: SHUT UP!

Zangetsu: Fine. Anyways, your first game is… Expert Translation. Right… well, anyways, how this works is that somebody speaks in a made up language, and another person has to "translate". Now, Shirayuki must discuss ice cream in made-up Japanese, with Tobiume as her translator.

Shirayuki: But… I already know Japanese.

Zangetsu: Well, it doesn't matter. Just say something random.

Shirayuki: Watashi wa-

Zangetsu: FAKE JAPANESE!

Shirayuki: I was just getting to that part! Watashi wa nobe dekyudo ise kurima.

Tobiume: I really, really like ice cream.

Shirayuki: Watashi no desu Honda, demo omari sagetsu yobishite hirakai.

Tobiume: I like to eat ice cream in my Honda, and at the movies, and when I'm in bed.

Shirayuki: Nyah! Nyah! Yobishite hirakai!!!

Tobiume: No! No! When there's an ache in my head… Oh! That… doesn't make sense.

Shirayuki: Kome ino masui dengai. Shirai etsu takiyose, nobi e tempura, shigachi su unagi, na domo kotsubaki.

Tobiume: There are many flavors of ice cream. I like vanilla, chocolate, tempura, prune, green tea, eel, and fish stick flavor.

Shirayuki: Dendo isane magune iki dome rensho. Kayusume nagi itaru, subara shiki nagumi tenchi.

Tobiume: It's also fun to dump ice cream on people's heads. Especially when it's all drippy and melty and it runs down people's hair…

(BUUUUUUZZZZ)

Zangetsu: Okay, I think that's enough. 200 points for the both of you. Now, the next game is going to be for Hyorinmaru and Haineko. We'll be playing Film and Theater Styles. You guys will be acting out a scene in theater styles that I tell you. Okay, the scene is that the both of you are taking a walk. You, Hyorinmaru, are about to tell the girl of your dreams, Haineko, that you like her. Okay, and start!

Hyorinmaru: Umm… I was wondering….

Haineko: About what?

Hyorinmaru: Well…

Zangetsu: James Bond.

Hyorinmaru: I spied you from across the park, and I thought, why would I want to stay so far away, when I could be close to you.

Haineko: Oh, you sly dog…

Hyorinmaru: Come closer…

Zangetsu; Soap opera.

Haineko: No! I can't!

Hyorinmaru: What? No, don't tell me you have another boyfriend! I gave you the best years of my life!

Haineko: Dammit, Michael, we just met each other last week!

Hyorinmaru: No! Please, don't leave me!

Zangetsu: Kung-fu film.

Haineko: Why-should-it-be-that-I-stay?

Hyorinmaru: Challenge-you-so-you-stay-I-will!

Haineko: Hi-Yah!*kicks Hyorinmaru in the groin*

Hyorinmaru: Ack….

Haineko: Multi-kill.

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZ)

Zangetsu: Oh dear….. Okay, anyways, while Hyorinmaru is recovering from his injuries, let's have a break.

Hyorinmaru: Owww….

* * *

Zangetsu: Now that we are back from the break, I need to ask: are you alright, Hyorinmaru?

Hyorinmaru: Yup…just a little sore…

Zangetsu: Wow. You get 500 points for enduring that. Now, time permitting, we're going to have another round of Scenes from Urahara's Hat.

Urahara: When can I get my hat back?

Zangetsu: Never. Okay, first scene is: Tobiume pranking Hyorinmaru.

Hyorinmaru: Oh dear Lord, no…

Tobiume: Hehehe…*lights Hyorinmaru's pants on fire*

Shirayuki: Do you smell something burning?

Haineko: Yep…

Hyorinmaru: Aaaaahhhhh!*runs around screaming*

Shirayuki: Oh, for goodness' sake.*freezes Hyorinmaru's butt, then watches as the water melts*

Hyorinmaru: Thanks… but now it looks like I wet my pants.

Zangetsu: Okay… next scene! Everyone beating up Muramasa.

Hyorinmaru: Wait a minute, everyone!

Shirayuki: You promised us peace.

Tobiume: You promised us happiness.

Haineko: You promised me a hot tub!

Everyone: 0_0

Haineko: What?

Hyorinmaru: You'll get everything I promised. Even your… hot tubs.

Shirayuki: But when?

Hyorinmaru: Umm… umm….I think I need to go…

Tobiume: After him!

Zangetsu: Okay… next scene is A Day in either Szayel or Kurotsuchi's lab.

Hyorinmaru: BWAHAHAHA!!!!

Shirayuki: Mayuri-sama?

Hyorinmaru: Shut up. I am performing experiments on the Zanpakutou, and I think I may have found a weakness in them. Just watch!*presses remote*

Haineko: Argh! No! Make it stop!*writhes on the floor*

Shirayuki: What is she watching?

Hyorinmaru: Only the worst show in existence… Whose Line is it Anyway!

Zangetsu: Okay! Time for the next. I believe that it is… Things Hitsugaya would Never Do.

Tobiume: You're my honeybunch, sugar plum, pumpyumpyumpkin, you're my sweetie pie…

Zangetsu: Ah! Absolutely perfect! He will kill you for that, though. The next category: things you shouldn't do in a movie theater.

Shirayuki: How the hell can you call this ice cream! I swear, it's lukewarm! That's it… Tsugi no Mai, Haku-

Zangetsu: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We do not want anybody in the audience or on stage to be frozen. Next category is couples that would never work.

Hyorinmaru: Let us walk the path of life together, Toshirou.

Tobiume: I'll follow you wherever you go, Kenpachi.

Fangirls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zangetsu: All of you, calm down. The final category is…. What Byakuya is secretly thinking of doing.

Hyorinmaru: Dear god. I swear, if my lieutenant comes into this room one more time, I am going to use Senbonzakura to shear his hair off!

(BUUUUUUZZZZZZ)

Zangetsu: Well done! Just for that, 2000 points! So, you are the winner of this round of Whose Line is it Anyway, which allows you to play a special game: you will be reading out the credits in the style of my choice. And the style is…. William Shatner!

Hyorinmaru: Who is he?

Everyone: Umm…

* * *

Credits:

We…would like to thank the following…

Sode no…Shi-ray-uki

Tobi…ume

Haine…ko

And, finally…me

Our host Zan…getsu

Pi: Hurry up!!!

The writer… Pi

How-er production…staff…the 12th…Division'

Zangetsu: I said William Shatner, not Starrk!

Hyorinmaru: Well, sorry, it's the best I can do.

Finally… our generous manager…Aizen… wait a minute!

Aizen: Yup! It's because I love watching you all humiliate yourselves. It's schaudenfreude!

Everyone:*sweatdrops*

* * *

Thanks for reading, guys! Sorry that it's not as good as the other chapters, but I do hope it's okay. Please give in your suggestions for contestants and Scenes from Urahara's Hat, please! And if you would be so kind, please check out my other series, Ascendance of a Demon and It's More than Guy Love!


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

Oh man! Whew, time sure flies, huh? Sorry for the delay in writing folks, but now that I have school these updates are gonna be pretty infrequent. Sorry to say that I don't think it would be possible to play Props or Helping Hands here because it's not as fun if you can't see the props. But thanks anyways to scarletzanpaktou, Ember Hinote, pheonixflamechimera78 , Froiza, and Kai's-Suzaku for reviewing! Anyways, today is another fun-filled round of Whose Line is it Anyway! Ichigo, take it away!

Ichigo: The author doesn't own Whose Line is it Anyway or Bleach. This is merely a fan-based work that is not being produced for profit and is made solely for entertainment.

* * *

Ichigo: Now get on with the-oh, didn't realize we'd already started. Welcome back, ladies and gents, to another round of Whose Line is it Anyway! Our contestants today are-*gets knocked unconscious*

Urahara: My turn to be host!*starts fanning self* This is what you get for stealing my hat! Anyways, the contestants for today are: old, Unohana, older, Yamamoto, emo Kira, and finally… the freeloader Renji!

Renji: Hey! I'm not a freeloader!

Kira: And I'm not emo!

Unohana and Yamamoto:…

Urahara: At least two of you are honest. Well, let's just get this party started, shall we? So… our first game is going to be a nice little Ballad for somebody in the audience by Kira and Renji! So… let's see… ah! You there!

???: Um…m-me?

Urahara: Yes! You! Come on, come on doooooooown!

Hanataro: Um….okay….

Urahara: Heya kid, whaddya do?

Hantaro: Umm….umm…I'm a healer….

Unohana:*whispering*And a wimp…

Urahara: Alright, a Ballad for Yamada the Healer Wimp!

Hanataro: Okay…wait, what?

Renji: Ooooohhh….

Kira:*joins in a higher note* Oooooooooh…

Renji: _He's Yamada, biggest wimp you'd ever see_

_I'd bet that little kid ain't no taller than my knee_

_He's from 4__th__ Division, so I really have to say_

_That makes him kinda, um…_

Unohana: Ahem…

Renji: _Umm….kinda small and sweet and cute?_

Hanataro: 0_0 Abarai-san, I don't think it's proper for you to think of me in that manner.

Renji: Shut up! _So if you piss him off real bad one day_

_He wouldn't up and run away_

_But he'll hurt you with Hisagomaru_…

_He's Yamada! _Kira: _Yamada!_

Renji:_The healer…_

_But he's still just a wimpy little kid…_

Both: _Oh he's Yamada the Healer!_

Renji: _Though he's still just a wimpy little kid…_

Kira: You suck at this! Here, let me do it. Take it away Shuhei!

***Piano goes:da-da-da-dum-da-da-da really fast***

_This kid traveled with Kurosaki_

_Although he kinda acted more like a lackey_

_In 4__th__ Division he's 7__th__ Seat_

_Although before I thought it wasn't deserved_

_But now that I've seen his foes resigning in defeat_

_I know that it's what he deserves_

Renji: Oh, boo! Lame!

Kira: Don't insult the 4th Division, you-

Unohana: Both of you, please just finish the song.

Both: Yes, Unohana-taicho…

_He's Yamada, Yamada the Healeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!!_

Renji:*whispering*_ Though he's still just a wimpy little kid…_

Hanataro: Hey! That hurts…

Urahara: Ahahaha! Brilliant job, all of you! 500 points to Renji and Kira!

Ichigo: Huh…whazap-KLUNK!

Urahara:*sheathing his cane* Well, good thing he doesn't wake up very easily. Anyways, let's get going, chop chop! Our next game will be… Home Shopping! And since Renji and Kira were in the first game, our second game players will be Unohana and Yamamoto-soutaicho! Ready…steady…go!

Yamamoto: I know that a lot of people don't look as old they really are.*glares at Unohana*

Unohana: That's just harsh…

Yamamoto: But anyways, there's a way to keep those youthful looks you used to have…

Unohana: Yes! Barry Oldman's Miracle Elixir!

Yamamoto: Made with only the finest horse sh-

Unohana: No.

Yamamoto: Crap?

Unohana: No.

Yamamoto: Fine. Made with the finest horse feces. Happy?

Unohana: Yes, very. No, not like that! Um… if you buy this, we'll include a free pair of…

Yamamoto: The word you're looking for is dentures.

(BUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ)

Urahara: Erm… nice try, but I don't think you guys are really cut out to be comedians.

***Both glare at him***

Um… but… you guys get a 1'000 points for trying! Anyways, on to everyone's favorite portion of the game,*gestures towards his hat* Scenes from my Stolen Hat! Okay, first Scene is… what Yama-jii would say if he went senile.

Yamamoto: Oh no…

Urahara: Oh yes. C'mon, you can do it!

Yamamoto: Kyora-kun, can you change my diaper?

(The crowd roars in approval)

Urahara: There ya go! That is how you make a good joke! Automatic 1'000 points! Anyone else got something to say?

Renji: Oh, Abarai, you are the greatest Shinigami ever, much better than that Kuchiki man! I want you to take over as sou-

Urahara: I said senile, not completely insane.

Renji: Aren't they the same thing?

Kira: As intelligent as always, Renji.

Urahara: Next scene is… Yachiru on a sugar high. Kira, since you're in a talkative mood, why don't you go?

Kira: Okay…. whee, look at me. Look, Ken-chan, I'm happy…. I love you, Byakushi…

Everyone: 0_0

Yamamoto: Never, ever, EVER do that again.

Kira: Yessir.

Urahara: Wow… I've been scarred for life. Now, on to the next, which is Aizen getting killed.

Renji: Momo…. Help me…. I'm dying….

Unohana: Nice try, but you already pulled that trick once. I'm not gonna fall for that again!

Urahara: Surprisingly accurate, except you forgot to include how Momo would actually be gullible enough to fall for that again. Okay, next is… somebody arguing with their zanpakutou!

Kira: I'm prettier than you!

Renji: No you're not!

Kira: Yes I am! And you look like a slut!

Renji: Gasp! Take that back, you drag queen!

Kira: Make me!

Urahara: Whoa there, hold on a second. 2000 points to the both of you for getting it exactly right, and so you'll stop fighting! Now…. Oh, wait, it seems like the both of you have won this game, which means, we get to play something really fun after the commercials!

* * *

Urahara: Okay, so, we're gonna be doing something called Mission Improbable. We're gonna make a Mission Impossible style scene to do some odd task.

Kira: Ready to do this?

Renji: Yeah.

Kira: I'm so nervous. It's my first time.

Renji: It's my first time too, so don't worry.

Kira: So, should I put it in…?

Renji: Yeah, just stick that sucker in.

(Kira pretends to stick in tape)

Urahara: I'm so pretty…. Oh so pretty…da-da….Oh, we're recording? Oops, okay. So, this week, gentlemen, I have a very special mission for you.

Renji and Kira: Okay. And…?

Urahara: Outside, you will find two paintbrushes and some paints.

Renji and Kira: Okay…

Urahara: You guys will have to use those items to paint this house. But be warned, the shades of paint will have to match very well with each other, or the owner of the house will be displeased. This tape will blow up I three… two…one…

Renji and Kira:…

Urahara: Eh, must be defective. Anyways, good luck with your mission!

Renji: Okay, you choose the paints.

Kira: Why me?

Renji: Because I'm color-blind.

Kira: That might explain a couple of things…

Renji: C'mon!

(Both of them tiptoe round the stage)

Kira: Geez… could we move any slower?

Renji: There! The materials!

Kira: You mean we could have just walked, like, five steps, and we would've found the materials?

Renji: Shh! Let's go!

(They pick up the paints and walk to the side)

Kira: Wow.

Renji: Is it just me, or does this house look like it has sun burn?

Kira: Complete with peeling, that would be an affirmative.

Renji: Well, time to get started.

Kira: Urgh….

Renji: Ah! Ah!

Kira: What is it?

Renji: These colors are awful! I mean, red and green? We don't want this to look like a Christmas tree!

Kira: Whatever…

Renji: Argh, ack…

Kira: What?

Renji: These brushes! I cannot work with these brushes!

Kira: Urgh…*gets back to painting*

Renji: OMG! OMG! OMG!

Kira: What the hell is it?

Renji: My head got stuck in the paint bucket!

Kira: Oh crap!*starts pulling on his hair*

Renji: Ahhhhhh! Don't pull so hard!

Kira: Maybe if your head weren't so big, we wouldn't be in this dilemma!

(BUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ)

Urahara: Well, thanks for watch-

Ichigo: Huh…Urahara….

Urahara: Uh-oh….

Ichigo: URA-HARA!

Urahara: See you next time, if I survive!

Ichigo: BAAAAAANNNNKKKKKAAIIIIIIII!

* * *

Thanks for reading, everyone! It's not really as good as the others, but I hope you liked it! Please keep reviewing, giving suggestions, and supporting this series!


	10. Chapter 10

Heya, everybody! I bet y'all thought I'd gone and died, didn't ya? Nope, not at all! There were some times when I thought I would because of all the homework, but now that I've conquered this treacherous valley, I'm ready to keep writing! A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: NorthernShinigami, pheonixflamechimera78, Ember Hinote, MyMusesSpeakToMe, Soten-ni-zase, Pharoahatem, YoutubeGirl, Verbophobic, Fire ArcherS, and kawaiikittey. Thank you everyone! Now, on to the disclaimer!

Yachiru: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Okay, the author doesn't own any of us. Okay, done!

Pi: That… was very…umm… quick.

* * *

Ichigo: After a long hiatus, we…. Are….BACK!!!! No, seriously, welcome back to Whose Line is It Anyway, that show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Yep, just like Renji's tattoos. Anyways, moving on! We've allowed today's contestants to write their own intros, so we'll see what we've got… First up, the future lord of everything, Sosuke Aizen!

Aizen: Absolutely. I'm glad you acknowledged that fact, Ichigo.

Ichigo: What?!? But I was just…. The cue card… Ah, forget it! Next up: back by popular demand, he's one…er, foxy dude. Say hello to my little friend, Gin Ichimaru!

(Audience applauds)

Gin: Thank you, thank you, and may I say what an honor it is to be-

Ichigo: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Time to introduce the Hideo-

???: You're reading the kanji wrong…

Ichigo: Well, is it my fault you can't write properly? Anyways, the HERO of justice, Tousen!

Tousen: Greetings, viewers.

Ichigo: M'kay. Finally, Mr. I-am-not-a-bad-dad, Ryuken Ishida, a.k.a. Ishida's dad. Okay…..

R. Ishida: What?

Ichigo: Our first game is a little something called Secret, and it's for Aizen and Gin. Basically, I give you a scene and the location of the secret, and you act out when the secret is revealed. You guys will be yourselves in Hueco Mundo, and the secret is hidden under Gin's chair. Ready, and… go!

Aizen: Ahh… isn't it nice to take a break every once in a while Gin?

Gin: Sure, whatever you say… hey…*picks up paper* What's this?

Aizen: Don't go picking up pieces of paper from the floor! Honestly, Gin, you don't know where those things have been!*sprays disinfectant everywhere*

Gin: Ah, come off it Aizen, I'll be fine! Wonder what it says….

Aizen: Oh dear…

Gin: What's this? Birth certificate for one Light Yagami… funny name. And what' this? Father is…. Sosuke Aizen!

Aizen:… Yeah, about that….

Gin: Congrats Aizen! Never took ya for a family man, but hey, we're all human, right? Or rather, more like we're all Shinigami!

Aizen: Um, Gin-

Gin: Just think: maybe one day our children will be able to bond over killing those wimps in Soul Society, and they'll become best friends just like us, eh, Aizen?

Aizen: Gin, that's a death certificate. Y'see, here's his date of death…

Gin: … Well, we're both dead anyways, so we'll meet him again, right?

Aizen: Right. And I'm just touched that my son died following in my footsteps.

Gin: You mean by breaking the hearts of young girls and betraying those people who trusted him?

Aizen: No, I meant taking over the world….

Gin: Oh yeah! Totally forgot about that! But anyways-

(BBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Um… okay, I guess…. But you guys could have done a bit more with it. I guess you get 100 points each. Now, on to our next, hopefully not as disappointing game! It's called Party Guests. Ishida's dad, you're gonna host, and the other three will act as certain things. Your job is to try and guess exactly who or what they are. Ready? Go!

Ryuuken: Nothing like a good disco party to get everyone up and about! And my son says I'm not hip! He just can't dig ma fly moves!

First Guest: Gin (man with head stuck in toilet bowl)

Gin: Ack! Help me! Get it off!!!!

Ryuuken: Um, sir, are you okay? I'm a doctor. Is it a tumor?

Gin: No, you idiot! Can't you see it? Oh man, somebody crapped in here! Ewwww, it's getting in my hair! Get it off, get it off!

Second Guest: Tousen (every single superhero ever created)

Tousen: Whooooooooooosssssshhh! POW! Bam! Which of you ordinary citizens needs my help?

Ryuuken: Wait, how did you get in here?

Tousen: With my lasso of truth and spidey-powers, of course!

Gin: Could you please help me get this thing OFF MY HEAD?!?!?!?!?

Tousen: No problem! Lase- Oh, sorry, I don't have laser vision…

Gin: What!??! You just had it a couple of moments ago!!!

Ryuuken: Oh dear…. Hold on, I think I hear the doorbell ringing!

Tousen: Let me see if there's something I can use here… Lessee, batarang, batkeys, batminton racket, bat litter, batteries….

Third Guest: Aizen (Barbie doll)

Aizen: Heya everyone! Do you love my outfit? It's my new super veterinarian princess fairy astronaut ballerina outfit!

Ryuuken: Can't talk right now, I need to help this man get this toilet bowl off his head!

(BUUUUUZZ)

Ichigo: One down and two to go Ishida! Keep going!

Tousen: Alright then! Now, shall we play extremely stretchy Twister?

Ryuuken: No thanks, I'm pretty sure you're busy as a superhero!

(BUUUUZZZZ)

Ichigo: He was actually every superhero ever made, but that's good enough!

Aizen: Um, hello? Did you forget about me? I mean, Ken will not be happy about that. BTW, have you seen my pretty hair, and gorgeous lipstick?

Ryuuken: Please go away, miss Yachiru?

Ichigo: Nope! Keep guessing!

Aizen: Look at me and my perfect plastic body!

Ryuuken: Um… please go, Pam Anderson, I'm not a plastic surgeon!

Aizen: Umm… look at me with my many movies and many different clothing lines! HELLO?!?!?!

Ryuuken: I know!

Aizen: Yes?

Ryuuken: No, wait… I lost it…

(BUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Sorry man, but Aizen was actually being a Barbie doll.

Aizen: How the hell could you not get that?

Ryuuken: Because unlike you, sir, I don't play with Barbie dolls.

Audience: Oooooooooooohhh… Fight! Fight! Fight!

Kenpachi: Did someone say fight?

Ichigo: There will be no fighting here!!! Anyways, 200 points to Gin for being toilet man, and 100 each to Aizen and Tousen for being good sports. And… a thousand to Ishida for managing to out-insult Aizen. Now, on to everyone's favorite segment: Scenes from Urahara's Hat! Okay, first one is… Hitsugaya on a sugar high!

Gin: Ice Ice BAAAAABBBBBBBBBBYYYYY! Yeah!!!!! Feel my mighty ice powers!!! Ice! Ice! I scream, y'all scream, we all scream for ICCCCCEEEEEE CRRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAMMMMM!

Ichigo: Intense… alright then, next category is: my dad acting serious. Wow… okay, go!

Ryuuken: Ichigo, I would like to apologize for how rude I have been to you. Please, forgive me…

Ichigo:…Holy crap, that was good. You ever considered acting for a living?

Ryuuken: Actually, yes. But I was passed over in favor of younger actors.

Ichigo: Uh-huh. Anyways, moving on! This one says: Momo killing someone (coughcoughAizencoughcough).

Aizen: Remind me to slay whoever wrote that. Yes, I am talking to you, Ember Hinote, or whatever your real name may be. I shall find you and-

Tousen:*pokes Aizen* You're dead.

Aizen: Oh, right. Argh! Ack! Momo! How could you? How… could…you….?*falls to floor*

Ryuuken: I could have done that better….

Ichigo: That's enough, ya drama queens! We still have some more scenes to get through! Let's hurry this up, shall we? Next is: Rukia on a sugar high!

Gin: Bunnniiiiiiieeeeeesssss! Let's go hopping through the forest! Hop hop hop! Hop hop hop! You too, nii-sama! Super chappy, hopping away!*starts hopping on stage*

Ichigo: Oy!! That's enough! Next up is: what would happen if Hitsugaya reaches puberty. Joy…

Aizen: Yes, I can finally go on all the rides at Disney Land! And my voice doesn't sound like I'm inhaling helium anymore!!!!

Tousen: And Momo will finally go out with me!

Both: YAAAAAYYYY!!!

Ichigo: Lol. Alrighty then, next is: how everyone would react if Kenpachi got Bankai.

All: IT'S CHUCK NORRISSSSSSSS!!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Ichigo: Thank you for that… predictable response. Next up: If Kenpachi worked at KFC!

Gin: Welcome to Kenpachi Fried Chicken, can I take your fucking order?

Ryuuken: S-sir? This is…um… Kentucky Fried Chicken… I think….

Gin: Well now it's Kenpachi Fried Chicken! Can I take your fucking order?

Ryuuken: I'd like one-

Gin: I asked you a question, and I want an answer!!! Can I take your fucking order?

Ryuuken: Yes! Just don't hurt me!

Gin: 'Kay then. Whaddya want?

Ryuuken: Um… chicken?

Gin: Good answer.***returns with a plate of chicken***

Ryuuken: Great, I'm sta-

Gin:*takes all the food and eats it*

Ryuuken: What?!?!?!?! B-but but but-

Gin: You said I could take your order, and I did! So, whatcha gonna do about that now, huh?

Ryuuken: Um…um….um…. p-please…..

Gin: Lookin' for a fight, huh?

Ryuuken: N-no!!!*runs away*

Gin: Freaking coward.

Ichigo: Okay, on to the next category! The next scene is: What would happen if Matsumoto managed to get Hitsugaya drunk off his ass.

Gin: Let's have sexytime, like that Borat movie!

Ichigo: Okay… WTF? Moving on… what would happen if Yachiru and Hitsugaya were on a sugar high and had access to explosives. What's up with our reviewers and sugar? Well, whatever.

Tousen: Let's make stuff go boom!

Aizen: But what?

Tousen:… Everything!!!

Both: Yay!!!

Gin: What the f-

Ichigo: Over-used joke alert! No, but seriously, please try to think of something original next time. Okay, time for the last scene, and this is: What Secretly Happens at One of Aizen's Meetings. Okay… ready… steady…. Go!

Aizen: Our first motion for the day. All in favor of installing a hot tub in this room say aye.

All: Aye!

Aizen: I'm so glad that was quickly resolved. Second issue: all in favor of having women strip bare naked before entering the hot tub say aye.

Almost All: Aye!

Tousen: Wait… hold on a second, bi-atchez! There is no way in hell that-

Aizen: La la la, I'm ignoring you… Now, third issue: all who agree with making Ms. Hallibel the first to get into the hot tub say aye.

Almost All: AYEEEEE!!!!

Aizen: Alright, now if no one has any issues-

Tousen: HOLD IT!!!!! We ain't done here yet!

Aizen: Oh yeah! All in favor of ordering pizza say aye.

All: AYE!

Ichigo: And with that it's time to award the points! A thousand to Tousen for giving us a great impression of a black girl. Just… please don't do that again… H'okay kiddies, your next game is Questions Only! The setting is…America's Next Top Model… with Tousen as… Tyra…- Okay, who the hell is making these fucking categories up???? Whatever, let's just get this over with.

Gin: Hey, Tyra honey, do you have time for something?

Tousen: Well, what is it?

Gin: Ya think you can interview one of the applicants for Top Model?

Tousen: Why the hell would I do that?

Gin: Isn't it in your contract?

Tousen: Does it look like I care what a piece of paper says?

Gin: Can you even read?

Tousen:… Did you just say what I think you said?

Gin: Umm… would you believe me if I said no?

Tousen: Okay… now are you ready to get out of my sight, ya bitch?

Gin: Yup!!!*runs away screaming*

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Okay, come on in Aizen!!!

Tousen: You ready to come in?

Aizen: Is it okay?

Tousen: Yeah… anyways, what's your name honey?

Aizen: Umm…. First or last?

Tousen: What do you think?

Aizen: Umm… is Melissa okay?

Tousen: Hrmm… how old are you?

Aizen: I'm fifteen… oh shit!!!

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Aizen is out! Ishida's dad, you're in!

Ryuuken: Do you know what you just did?

Tousen: Umm… what exactly did I do, sir?

Ryuuken: Did you see that girl running out of your office?

Tousen: Umm… wasn't she kind of manly looking to be a girl?

Ryuuken:…Point is, did you or did you not make her cry?

Tousen: Why the hell would I make her cry?

Ryuuken: Why? WHY?

Tousen: Why what?

Ryuuken: Ah…. Umm…. Crap, can't think of anything….

(BUUUUUUUZZZZZ)

Ichigo: You're out, which means that Tousen wins this game and gets a thousand points. Congragurations!

Everyone:…

Ichigo: see what i did there? It's like a joke, and… oh, never mind… because he wins, Tousen gets to sit out our last game, which is a HOEDOWN!!!!! But first, a word from our sponsors.

* * *

Yumichika: Why do I use L'Oreal? Because I'm worth it.

L'OREAL. BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT.

* * *

Ichigo: Welcome back to Whose Line, ma peeps! We've just been prepping for the Hoedown, and the category is, drumroll please…

***drumroll starts***

Ichigo: Annoying siblings! Now, hit it!

Ryuuken: I have a little bro who's stupid as a post

He follows me everywhere and frankly scares off most

I have to hand it to him though he ain't too bad at all

Because him hanging 'round helps me pick up chicks in the mall

Gin: I have a sister who is really very bad

She likes to hurt and piss me off, she makes me really mad

Then one day while we ate she was being very whiny

So I dragged her on the table… and SLAPPED HER ON THE HINEY!!!

***crowd roars***

Aizen: Thanks to my parents I am an only child

And if I did have siblings they'd probably be wild

But it's okay I have none because I might start feeling sorry

If they in any way turned out like Momo Hinamori!

Momo:*in shock*

Ichigo: D-do I start now? O-okay….

I have two sisters, one tomboyish one sweet

For two awesome sisters they're pretty hard to beat

I don't know what I'm saying, just trying to make these phrases rhyme

-

All: Hurry up already!!!!

Ichigo: all I'm really doing is stalling for time!

All: STALLING FOR TIME!!!!

Ichigo: That's all we have for today, everyone! Tune in next time for some more of Whose Line is it Anyway!!

* * *

Whew! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! If you like this series, please, please, please review! Send in suggestions, comments, tell me what you wanna see here! Anyways, in the immortal lines of The Producers: Good night, good luck, get out, GET LOST! Nah… just kidding. Hope to see ya real soon!


	11. Chapter 11

Pi-Face: Wow, has it really been almost a year since I last touched my fanfic account? Holy bejeesus. Sorry guys, freshman year was kinda whack for me, but now that I'm in sophomore year I have a bit more free time on my hands. To make up for everything, this is gonna be an extra, extra, extra long chapter! So, are you ready for another round of Whose Line?

All: YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!

Pi-Face: Oh, before I forget: I'd like to thank all of the people who reviewed the last chapter, namely WakingWorldDreamWorld, sallythedestroyerofworlds23, DreamStar14, pheonixflamechimera78, hayato bomber, atlantiandragoness, FireArcherS, x. TANgled, bleach613, Ember Hinote, and C0rruptxangel. And onto the disclaimers! Ichigo?

Ichigo: The author doesn't own any of us, we belong to Tite Kubo, blah blah blah… Just get on with the show alrea-

* * *

Ichigo:-dy! Oh, hey there everyone! Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, that dumb old show where everything's made up and the points don't in fact matter, like your freshman year tests! After all, everyone knows that it's only the final year where tests matter! Anyways, today is a special! What is it? Well it's the Squad 2 Reunion special! Let's meet our contestants: first up, that sly little kitty cat, Yoruichi!

Yoruichi: Ichigo, are you flirting with me?*wink*

Ichigo: N-No! It was in the in-Aw, forget it! Next up, the very, umm….

Soifon: Get on with it, Kurosaki!

Ichigo: … respectable captain Soifon?

Soifon: Thank you.

Ichigo: Next up we have that slimy bastard with a cane , Urahara!

Urahara: Thank you, thank you, I love you all! Also you, Ichigo, need to learn how to rela-

Ichigo: I AM RELAXED! Umm, I mean, last and certainly least… well, I couldn't decide between a fat joke or pretending to forget you. However, those fat jokes were too hard to resist, so… yo momma's so fat that she's got more Chins than the Hong Kong phone book!

Omaeda: How the hell does that relate to me?

Ichigo: It doesn't. But it's pretty damn funny! So, for this game I want Omaeda and Soifon to stand up. Anyways, your first game is… Every Other Line! Basically, you, Soifon, will be reading every other line from the script of a play, while Omaeda acts out the scene as the other person and tries to reach a set line. Today, that play is a wonderful piece called "Is He Dead?" We're gonna start you with the line "Millet, I'll bet you a hundred francs you're a celebrated man inside of a year," and end with "When this show is over we're going to be flush and out of trouble." Ready… go!

Soifon: Millet, I'll bet you a hundred francs you're a celebrated man inside of a year.

Omaeda: Throw in a Lamborghini and a key to the Playboy mansion and it's a done deal!

Soifon: Dutchy?

Omaeda: No, I'm afraid that I'm Japanese, my good man.

Soifon: That's the way to make it happen.

Omaeda: By being Japanese? Ha, if that were the case I'd have bedded a thousand women right now! But instead, I'm genetically stuck with two inches down there!

Soifon: I've only got ten centimes myself.

Omaeda: Eh, don't you mean centimeters? But never mind, let's forget about that for now.

Soifon: We're as good as the Bank of England. I'll bet you 34 million pounds.

Omaeda: Haha! Now that's a wager!

Soifon: And here comes O'Shaughnessy, to help us peddle some canvas. Well, begosh and begad if it ain't Phelim O'Shaughnessy!

Omaeda: Where? Where? I can't see a thing without my contacts!

Soifon: Excellent. Now fasten onto them, boys. Don't let anyone get away without buying a picture.

Omaeda: Oh, you mean those pictures I managed to take of Matsumoto in the shower? Well… I guess they'll sell pretty well…. They better! I spent a hell of a long time managing to get those shots!

Soifon: That's the spirit. Hans von Bismarck?

Omaeda: …Is that what you're calling me now?

Soifon: You control the crowds. Phelim O'Shaughnessy?

Omaeda: Where the devil is he? I still can't see him!

Soifon: You beguile the ladies.

Omaeda: Oh, of course, because there's no way that I could do it. SORRY FOR NOT BEING BORN ATTRACTIVE TO WO-Ack!*gets kicked in the head*

Soifon: When this show is over we're going to be flush and out of trouble.

(BUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Haha, nice one Soifon! She gets 500 points for doing that, and I guess Omaeda gets 200 for trying to keep up. Still, that wasn't exactly the best way to open the show… Next, we have that old classic, Questions Only! The scene is that Urahara and Yoruichi are at a really cheesy romance movie. Start!

Yoruichi: Isn't this movie awful?

Urahara: …Do you think her boobs are real?

Yoruichi: Would you just shut it?

Urahara: Why is the plot so trite?

Yoruichi: Aren't romantic comedies always like this?

Urahara: Um… do you wanna make out?

Yoruichi: Bugger off.

(BUZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Time to enter, Soifon!

Urahara: So, what do you think of the movie so far?

Soifon: Why should I bother answering you?

Urahara: Don't you think this movie is so annoying?

Soifon: Would you get mad if I said that you were a hell of a lot more annoying than this movie?

Urahara: Now why would you say that?

Soifon: Isn't it obvious?

Urahara: Are the lines putting you off?

Soifon: Gee, how did you guess?

Urahara: Well, actually, I did try these lines on so-

(BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZ)

Ichigo: Sorry Urahara, but I was pretty damn sure you weren't gonna be asking a question.

Urahara: Oh, it's fine! Just continue with the game.

Ichigo: Okay, I guess it's your turn, Omaeda!

Omaeda: Well, I guess it's just you and me now, huh, captain?

Soifon: ….Goodbye Omaeda.

Omaeda: 0_0

Everyone: 0_0

(BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ)

Ichigo:… Oh, wow. Can you say rejection? Well, 5,000 points to Soifon after that.

Haruhi Suzumiya (No, I don't own her either): Ready, SOS Brigade?

Koizumi: Ready!

Mikuru: Ready…

Yuki: Ready.

Kyon: Why me?

Haruhi: OKAY!

SOS Brigade: REJECTED! REJECTED! RE-JE-CT-ED! REJECTED!

Ichigo: Ohhhhh, burn!

Omaeda: Hey? WHAT ABOUT ME!

Ichigo: Fine, you can have a point. No, wait, let's make it a point and a half. And I guess I'd better award three hundred points to Urahara and Yoruichi each. Now, it's time for that little crowd-pleaser called "Scenes from Urahara's Hat!"

Urahara: And then can I have my hat back?

Ichigo: No. Okay, so the first scene we've got is " If Orihime was P.M.S.-ing".

Soifon: I hate you, Ulquiorra!

Urahara: I don't really c-

Soifon: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! You don't like me!

Urahara: Stop crying, tr-

Soifon: No, it's fine if you don't like me like that! We can just be friends, right?

Urahara: 0_0

Soifon: WTF?

Urahara: :O

Soifon: Why The Face!... Tee hee.

Ichigo: And now for a real WTF moment in three…two…. WTF? Okay, next up is "Mayuri offers Yumichika beauty products." Oh, no…

Omaeda: Say, Yumichika, how about trying some of this lotion?

Yoruichi: Umm… how about no?

Omaeda: It's how Nemu keeps her skin so fresh!

Yoruichi: Oh, alrighty then! Let's try it!

Omaeda: Ehehehehe…

Yoruichi: W-wait, what's happe- Oh my god, my skin is peeling!

Omaeda: Ah, yes, an unfortunate side effect… but in eight to ten months, your skin will be right as rain!

Ichigo: Wow, that was frightening. Okay, onto the next request, which is…*reads through the request* far too obscene for television! I am sorry, but we just can't accept this! Sorry to whoever requested that! Let's get on with the next request, which is "Things Soifon would never say to Yoruichi!" Oh, what fun this is going to be…

Soifon: …..

Yoruichi: Come on, Soifon, just make something up. It doesn't have to be that good. You're in the lead anyways!

Soifon: *takes breath* You' aretoowideIthinkyou'reaslutyou'''!

Everyone: 0_0

Ichigo: Well… hypothetically speaking, I would be willing to award you ten thousand points for that.

Yoruichi: Hypothetically speaking I think you'd better run, Soifon.

Soifon: H-Hypothetically speaking I'm already halfway out the door!

Ichigo: Hey, hey, hold it people, or else I'll be forced to p0wn you guys good! And considering how cheap Kubo's become I'm pretty sure I can do it with my eyes close AND my hands tied behind my back. Now, next scene is "Bad Zanpakutou abilities".

Urahara: Mine plays "Baby!"

Ichigo: Alright the-WAIT A SECOND! DON'T YOU DA-

Urahara: La la la I'm not listening to you! *music starts* _When I was thirteen, I had my first love…_

Ichigo: SHUT UP!

Urahara:… You're just jealous 'cause you don't know whom I'm talking about.

Ichigo: Oh god. Are you really that childish?

Urahara: It was yo mama! OWNED! Hi-five me, Yoruichi!

Yoruichi: Hell yeah!

Ichigo:… Don't you dare diss my mother….

Urahara: Oh dear, I completely forgot that Ichigo was super obsessed with his mom in volume four. Whoops…

Ichigo: First you diss my mom. Now you break the fourth wall. Do you want to give me any more reasons to destroy you?

Omaeda: Wait! Wait! I still want to finish my skit!

Ichigo: …Fine, go ahead.

Omaeda: My Zanpakutou has a handy compartment for snacks!

Ichigo: Actually, that sounds pretty usef-

Omaeda: And it also came with two tickets to Justin Bieber's My World tour! Ready Urahara?

Urahara: YUP!

(Both take off their robes to reveal Justin Bieber t-shirts.)

Omaeda and Urahara: _You're my baby, baby, baby ohh-_

Pi-Face: Special News Bulletin! Due to unforeseen circumstances, we regret to inform the readers that we must cut this little song number short.

Omaeda: You just didn't know the lyrics to the damn song!

Pi-Face: Shut your pie holes!

Urahara: I think you'll find that's pi holes.

Pi-Face: Fine. You guys aren't dead… yet. But I'll be watching you…

Ichigo: God. Next category is "What Ichigo is Really Thinking," but you know what, you guys don't even need to act this one out. I'll tell you what I'm thinking! I'm thinking "Why the hell am I even here?"

Pi-Face: Because.

Ichigo: BECAUSE WHAT?

Pi-Face: Because shut up.

Audience: Lame! Boo! You're gonna get sued by LittleKuriboh!

Pi-Face: Aw, can it! He'll never find out about this! But anyways, Ichigo, just let the people act!

Ichigo: Fine.

Urahara: *farts* PROOOOOOOOOOOTTT!

Audience: WHOOOOOOO!

Ichigo: Hehe… that was actually pretty funny… Onto our next scene, "What Yachiru'll do if she was Soutaicho!"

Yoruichi: Ah, Byakushi… today's the day we get married!

Ichigo: Eh, that's okay… Next one up is "Aizen getting stuck in a room full of his fangirls and Yaoi fangirls"!

Soifon: Oh my god Aizen, you're so shmexy!

Urahara: Umm, thanks, I guess…

Omaeda: Oh my god Aizen, I think you should totally end up with Gin!

Urahara: Eh?

Soifon: No way, he'd look much cuter with Ichigo!

Omaeda: Gin!

Soifon: Ichigo!

Omaeda: Gin!

Soifon: Ichigo!

Urahara: Now hold on a minute! Don't I get some sort of say in this?

Soifon and Omaeda: …Do you want to end up with Tousen?

Urahara: T-This is a trick question, isn't it? If I say no, you'll think I'm racist. But if I say yes, then I'm screwed for life. *sighs* I guess I have no choice. MOMO!

Soifon and Omaeda: COME BACK!

Audience: YEAH!

Ichigo: Ha! Not bad, not bad at all! Now, our next scene is, "Toshiro acting his own age".

Yoruichi: *stares blankly ahead while drooling slightly*

Audience: 0_0

Ichigo: 0_0

Kyon: And now it's Kyon's Funny Corner (or KFC for short). Hooray. Now, today, my job is to explain exactly why the previous joke was poignant and actually secretly funny. You see, the character being joked about, Toshiro Hitsugaya, is actually in the realm of being 60-100 years old. Therefore, the actress, Ms. Yoruichi Shihoin, decided to portray him as a sort of senile old man. Seriously, you people didn't get that? How stupid are you?

Audience: HEY!

Ichigo: Wait a minute. Are you even from this show?

Kyon: Well, I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans, I lack some sort of weapon, my hair is actually normal, and I don't have an irritatingly loud voice and accompanying catch phrase. Gee, what do you think?

Ichigo: Oh man, this show is really devolving into a collection of unfunny jokes and stupid catchphrases.

Kyon: I'm afraid so, my man.

Ichigo: Moving on from the depressing realization that the quality of this show is deteriorating, considering we need someone from ANOTHER SHOW to explain the jokes, let's continue. Our next scene is "Ukitake finally getting healed of his illness". Go!

Yoruichi: Ah, it's great to be cured of my illness! *lies down on the floor face down*

Omaeda: Captain Ukitake! What are you doing?

Yoruichi: Testing if I'm really cured of my illness! *does push-up* One!

Omaeda: Oh, I see! You're trying to test your endurance, right Captain? I'm rooting for you! Keep on going!

Yoruichi: Nah, one push up's enough. We old men can't work too hard…

Ichigo: What's up with you and old people? Anyways… moving on. Next scene up: "What Hitsugaya really thinks of Ichigo". Begin!

Urahara: Stupid Ichigo, stealing my spotlight…

Ichigo: Really? REALLY? That's what you think he'd think? ...Anyways, let's get on with the show, people. Next scene up is… lessee… Ah, here we go! " If Toshiro was Isshin's son and Isshin were beating him up." Great…

Urahara: Son, it's about time I taught you the ways of the world.

Omaeda: Which are…?

Urahara: If somebody's bigger than you, they automatically get to beat you up! Therefore… Super Special Flying Kick Attack! *kicks Omaeda*

Ichigo: Nice job Urahara! Alright, our next category is "Toshiro and Byakuya arguing!"

Soifon: I have more fans than you, Captain Hitsugaya.

Yoruichi: No way, Kuchiki. I've ranked consistently in the top 10 for every popularity poll I've been in!

Soifon: Ah, but you're not taking into account the international audience, where I am more popular and YOU are ridiculed and called Captain Ass-pull!

Ichigo: Nicely one, you two! And now we move on to the final category of the night, which is "Orihime cussing out an Arrancar!"

All contestants: A-

Ichigo: HOLD IT! The author has specifically requested that Orihime herself do the cussing out, and she will be able to choose her victim. So come on down her, Orihime!

Orihime: Hi everybody! Umm, I choose… Jiruga-san!

Nnoitra: Oho, this is gonna be fun… Come on, give it your best shot pet-sama!

Orihime: Ahem. *coughs* First of all, stop treating me like a fucking object, okay? I. AM. A. HUMAN. BEING! Not somebody you can try to grope like some sex toy or something! Seriously, you pervert, I'm fifteen. FIFTEEN. It means you CANNOT TOUCH me. To you, I am that mother-fucking bastard MC Hammer. Know why? Because you can't touch this ya buck-toothed bastard!

Nnoitra: P-Pet-sama?

Orihime: Second, stop calling me that! It's stupid, derogatory, and pretty fucking creepy man. Besides, the name is just begging to be made fun of. I mean, are you trying to be fucking ironic or some shit? Because that name is just pretty damn RETARDED! You will now address me as Inoue-san or Orihime-san, got it ya thick-skulled numb-nut? Third of all, don't even look at my chest. You're damn tall, man: don't strain your neck and try to look down my fucking blouse, man. You know what? Change that. Don't ever look at my chest at all, or mention it in conversation, okay?

Nnoitra: S-sorry about everything I've done to you in the past, O-Orihime-san.

Orihime: YOU BETTER BE! And no, don't you dare try to leave: I ain't done yet! Numero four: don't leave your weirdo pervy stuff in my room, or send me stuff either! I swear, when I left Hueco Mundo you'd left the entire fucking year's worth of Playboy magazine under my bed, as well as something called "Archisexture" or something, I don't know what the fuck it was. Not to mention that you sent me that all too see-through nightie for White Day, which I must admit really was quite pretty, and so soft…*blushes* B-But now is not the time for that! Just… don't send me stuff like that!

Nnoitra: Well yeah, but I only did that to you because you're my favorite girl, Inoue-san.

Orihime: Just shut your mouth before you implicate yourself Jiruga. Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, how you treat people other than me. You know, almost every night in Hueco Mundo, Tesla would visit and cry all over my fucking dress, bawling about how you'd mistreated him, and basically ruining half my wardrobe. Let me make this clear: TESLA IS MY FRIEND AND I LIKED THOSE DRESSES. Therefore, the only way to stop this shit is to get it at the source. So… numero quinta, which is five, just so you understand you retard: don't make Tesla ever cry again you motherfucker. Also, number six: turning past girlfriends into children because you're too damn weak to face them? Uh-uh, that's just damn wrong. So don't do it.

Nnoitra: Okay, you're really starting to scare me…

Orihime: GOOD! YOU SHOULD BE PISSING YOUR PANTS RIGHT NOW!

Nnoitra: I AM!

Orihime: Time to move on to point number seven: the spoon hood.

Nnoitra: What about it?

Orihime: It's ugly, stupid, and makes you look like some sort of fucked-up satellite dish. Get rid of the thing: it's idiotic. Point number eight: you know that cologne you use?

Nnoitra: Yup! I use Axe Twist… because women get bored easily. *winks*

Orihime: Oh my fucking lord! I hate those ads. They're so derogatory to women, making us seem so indecisive. Not to mention the cologne itself kicks up a royally awful stench, sorta like gym socks and shit. Get rid of it. Oh, this cologne also leads me to point nine: it's because of the stench of that cologne that I was able to identify you as the person who ALWAYS leaves the fucking toilet seat up. STOP IT.

Nnoitra: I swear, it's not me who does that! It's Grimmjow! GRIMMJOW!

Orihime: I doubt it. The toilet always reeks of that fucking cologne of yours when the seat's up. SO: NEVER LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP! It becomes seriously inconvenient for us girls when you leave the seat up. So don't do it! And finally… DONT BRAG! I mean, you brag about how you're such a fighter, and you're not afraid of anything, when in fact you are afraid of all your superiors, Nel, or basically anybody who is any fucking stronger than you! But that's not the least of your bragging you self-serving prick! Ohohoho, not by a long shot. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT GO BRAGGING ABOUT HAVING FOUR INCHES! BECAUSE YOU DON'T! It's like you've got two… no, not even two, one and a half inches of PURE DISSAPOINTMENT! So do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up, because, unlike Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and about a dozen other men I've gotten to know, you've got nothing to brag about!

Nnoitra: 0_0

Almost everyone: 0_0

Urahara: :D

Ichigo: What the hell was that face for?

Urahara: You people were acting so weird and shocked, I figured that somebody needed to try and cheer everyone up! Besides, using the same smiley over and over again was repetitive, so I wanted to add a little spice to it!

Ichigo: Anyways… Orihime… wha-

Orihime: Oh please, don't act so surprised. By fan standards, I'm one of the most moe characters on the show, and therefore one of the most desirable.

Ichigo: …..Meet me in my dressing room in twenty minutes. You really took the whole "cussing" part of this really seriously, didn't you? Anyways, Orihime gets just about a million points for that, and… I guess Nnoitra deserves twenty thousand for all the hardships we've put him through. However, this means that our winner is… well, I can't believe it, but it's Orihime! And-

Nnoitra: W-wait just a second. P-I mean, Inoue-san…. Did you really mean all that stuff you said about me?

Orihime: Not all of it…

Nnoitra: And… exactly how many people HAVE you slept with?

Orihime and Mikuru: That's classified!... Hey, stop copying me!

Nnoitra: *sobs*WAHHHHH! Tesla, I've got four inches, right?

Tesla: Nnoitra-sama, I can safely say that I have absolutely no idea.

Ichigo: Ignoring the drama queen who now seems to be one of our contestants, Orihime get to sit out our final game, which is that well-loved classic, the Hoedown! So join us after the break for that!

* * *

Grimmjow: Axe Twist. Because women get bored easily. *winks*

Orihime: GAH! Stupid ad!

* * *

Orihime: Hello everyone, and welcome back to that wonderful show we like to call Whose Line is it Anyway! For our final game we will be putting on a wonderful Hoedown for you!

Ichigo: That's right! Anyways, we need something to have a Hoedown about! Come on!

Ukitake: Food!

Kiyone: Annoying people in your division!

Kenpachi: Overpowered people in Bleach!

Ichigo: Alright, we'll take that last-Hey, Kenpachi, you're one to talk!

Kenpachi: Hey, is it my fault if I'm the friggin' Chuck Norris of this series?

Ichigo:… Aren't you a bit Japanese to be Chuck Norris?

Kenpachi: Yes, yes I am.

Ichigo: Well, whatever. Let's begin the first ever six- person Hoedown about overpowered people in Bleach!

Omaeda: I know that for a vice-captain I really am quite weak

And when I want a promotion it really seems quite bleak

And meanwhile my captain who's suspect of much within the fanon

Has a sneaky strong Shikai and great big fucking cannon!

Soifon: When looking back at all captains it really seems to me

That if ranking them by power, as far as I can see

Some captains aren't as strong as some of the others

And one of the cheapest ones is Rukia Kuchiki's brother!

Yoruichi: I once had a chance to train a guy called Ichigo

Took him a week to get Bankai, that certainly ain't slow

He can p0wn captains left and right, nothing will stop him now

Aizen better put his A-game on or else he will be plowed

Urahara: Speaking of that Aizen guy he's really very lame

Takes no effort at all to kill people, to him they're just the same

Bankai, poison, anything, it just has no effect

Is this guy made of steel or does he have some dumb defect?

Nnoitra: You guys might be forgetting that you captains are quite strong

Mega moves and one hit-Kos: Goddamn man that is wrong!

Kyoraku vs Stark, or Soifon and Barragan

I won't be able to sit through all of this torture again!

Ichigo: Lest we forget, ladies and gents, the strongest one of all

Kenpachi Zaraki with a little girl so small

Fights as his own hobby, limits his power for fun

He'd try to fight against me and you, he would fight everyone!

All: He would… fight… ev-ery-ONE!

Ichigo: Thanks for watching our show, everybody! I hope we see you again for another Whose Line real soon!

Pi-Face: Wait! Wait!

Ichigo: WHAT?

Pi- Face: No need to be so touchy, Ichigo. I just need to let Ms. Ember Hinote do something.

Ember Hinote: Hi, Aizen.

Aizen: YOU!

Ember Hinote: Yes, me. *kicks Aizen in balls* BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Aizen: Oww…

Ichigo: God, this show is so dumb. Good night, and see you soon!

* * *

And so another round ends. Thanks for reading through all of this text, guys! Once again, all comments, suggestions, and entries for Scenes from A Hat and contestants are mucho appreciated. Hope to see you all real soon!


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